39 weeks, 1 day - scan day!

Well, I haven't updated for a few days, but I wanted to before my growth scan, and since that's only 90 minutes away this is pretty much my last chance! ;) Neil took a half day holiday this afternoon to cover the appointment, but it's not until 4.30pm so I am just about to get ready and go and pick up Heather on the way there. Neil took the boys out to the park, as they've been climbing the walls lately!

I have tons to write about but not much time to update, so I'll just get done what I can for now, and then hopefully find chance to update later or tomorrow maybe.

I got a comment on my last entry from somebody called Lexy, who I don't know, which I wanted to address somewhat. She wrote:

"You don't know me and I don't know you but I have been following your blog since you were pregnant. I have gone back and forth about commenting as it is none of my business but I feel the need to do so as I would not forgive myself if I did not.

The reason they are having you count movement right now is because they are very concerned about the placenta/lack of growth. Your Son is PERFECTLY OK but I would not wait any longer....I know you won't like this suggestion but I would ask for a C-Section ASAP. Trust me...it is better to be safe than sorry and if your movement counts stop then what? That's right....it is too late. Throw out the birth plan and ask for that baby to come out NOW.

I sincerley HOPE I am off base and all wrong but I know too many people that were never told.

Good Luck...I mean that. As you have said the birth plan is not about you it is about yout baby. A C-Section is not the end of the world in the BIG PICTURE here. I can only pray the Dr suggests it because any Dr worth his MD would."

I *think* I can just about see the well-meaning in this message, but I am thinking I might just be being generous in my assumptions. I just wanted to make it clear (in case I hadn't already), that I do know perfectly well why they want me to count Elijah's movements - I am not daft! ;) I think it does seem like Lexy means to help by letting me know the risks, but then on the other hand, since she knows I already know everything she's written already, and that it's stressful to have it reiterated especially at this late and hormonal stage of pregnancy AND with the fact that there are still unknowns ahead of me with this baby boy, AND the way it was worded wasn't exactly sensitive.... I am not really sure that it was meant kindly after all.

I thought I had been really clear that I know about the reasons and risks and so on, in my posts so far, but maybe not...

I am glad that as far as I know, none of the excellent consultant obstetricians at the hospital would jump the gun to the point of suggesting a c-section based on what we know so far - a healthy, active baby who is a little small for dates, with great umbilical blood flow and a healthy amniotic fluid level. Birth is a natural and safe process. RARELY, things can go wrong. Much more so if you fiddle with the natural process in any way earlier on. Then it's much more likely that intervention is needed and it's less of a natural and safe process. C-section is risky in many ways, major surgery for one, and NOT a natural end of pregnancy. Not that I'm not thankful that the option is there if necessary - it is an emergency method of saving a baby's life (or in some cases, the mother's), but that's the point, c-section should be an emergency, not the crazy ridiculous 1 in 3 stats that I keep seeing in the US (not sure of the accuracy of 1 in 3 now, but it's still CRAZY high). No way are all those c-sections necessary. Doctors suggest them for all manner of things, some necessary, most NOT necessary. Natural birth, if it can be done, is the safest option for mother and baby. And that is what I want for Elijah and me.

There is no way I'm asking for a c-section RIGHT NOW!! My goodness, that's nuts! There is no indication that one is necessary, and scare tactics in my comments are not something I appreciate! "Scare tactics" is probably too strong a phrase but I can't think of one that's nearer to what I mean unfortunately, so I used that one anyway.

 The doctors and midwives are ALL happy with me counting his movements - in fact I am no longer counting, just being aware of what's normal for him and what's not, as that's what they have now told me to do. They are NOT "very concerned about the placenta/lack of growth"! Nor have they ever been VERY concerned. They didn't even mention the placenta at all, not even the doctor. It's only that I pressed the head of community midwives to ask her what could possibly cause slowing growth. She insisted it was likely just a "blip" and he would catch up, but then when I asked again she told me that sometimes the placenta gets tired earlier than usual. She made a REALLY low deal of it, and told me I didn't need to worry about it at all. I am pretty sure I had already said as much in my last couple of posts, and I was more anxious than she said I needed to be. But anyway. Comments like this really do not help! Anyway, they are ALL happy with me counting his movements, or now just being aware of his norms, and if that changes then to go to Day Assessment and have the monitors on him for a 15 minute trace. There is no expectation from anyone that he would suddenly come to major harm, as there's nothing anyone can see to cause that! Only that if HE gets more tired (if it is the placenta), he would gradually move less, and that's a sign for me to have him checked out, not start freaking out and begging for a c-section! If a c-section was indicated, I would have a c-section.

I don't like the implication that I am being selfish ("the birth plan is not about you it is about your baby... Throw out that birth plan and ask for that baby to come out NOW."). I am not. The birth plan is flexible. Depending on the outcome today I may need a whole new one by the end of the day, and that is okay. Until then, the best plan for MY BABY as well as me (the mother's needs ARE important when it comes to birth) is that he be born as naturally as possible, ideally at home, with as little risk of intervention as possible. That's actually the safest plan for any baby (speaking of the natural more than pointing at homebirth, just to clarify), except when there's a diagnosed issue that needs special treatment. I don't have such a diagnosis at the moment.

*sigh*

Anyway, to further make my point, moving on to my newsy stuff over the last few days :)

Elijah has grown!!! I am pretty sure he has. I had a typical (for me) growth-spurt type of period for 3 days straight, eating with a crazy appetite and craving carbs and protein. I ate and ate as much as my body asked me to, knowing what was going on. I did notice that he hadn't had a growth spurt like that in a couple of months - interesting... Anyway, after the 3 days, I felt yucky for a couple of days like I always do after a genuine baby growth spurt, so I was very encouraged!

I measured my bump again since my last entry, and got 37cm!!! That's 37 weeks - almost 3 weeks growth within ONE week! Of course I can't tell how much Elijah himself has grown, and I am just having to wait with baited breath for the scan to confirm it (I hope it does!), but he must have grown, surely?! A different midwife came round on Tuesday this week for my 39 week appointment (38w6d) and she was happy with everything, pretty much. She knows I'm having a growth scan this week so didn't really talk about aspects such as his size, etc. She measured my bump as 36cm but I KNOW she did not measure accurately. Measurement is taken from the pubic bone, and she was pressing around to find it for ages (currently not as easy as it ought to be through clothing, as Elijah's head is pretty well down now and is the most obvious hard lump near my pubic bone, but a bit above it!) and finally started the tape measure from a good cm above my actual pubic bone. I felt too awkward to say, "Um, that's not my pubic bone..." so I stayed quiet, but I knew she would get a measurement less than I'd had. Mandi always measures from right on my pubic bone, and last time she cheated a tad by measuring from a fraction below. So I do know. All the same the inaccurate measurement of 36cm is still up a cm from the previous week! :) I have measured at different times of day, or when Elijah is in different positions, just in case I have somehow caught my uterus at a "large" moment, lol! But it's always 37 or more. This morning I measured almost 38cm, and 37.5 the time before that a couple of days ago (the same day the midwife came). That would put me at only just over a week behind (if that) which is PERFECTLY normal. I read my old diary entries and Matthew consistently measured 1 week behind for all my late pregnancy antenatal checks - not because he was engaged either. He was my lightest full-term baby at 7lbs 11oz, so hopefully it's just that Elijah is built like Matthew :)

Anyway, I am really hopeful for GOOD news at the scan today! The other great thing is that he is really active little beep, and moves about a lot. He stretches his legs and hiccups and squirms his shoulders and kicks about in there. He has at least 10 sessions of active movement every day, and some of those sessions have dozens and dozens of individual movements. He was less active in the two days after the growth spurt, which is normal for all of my babies at that time, but because of the recent stuff I was still nervous! He still moved enough for them not to be concerned at all though, and I didn't need to go and be monitored. He has picked back up to normal now that I am feeling better too, after the post-growth-spurt sluggishness! ;)

I have listened with my doppler a couple of times when he hasn't moved for a few hours straight. Mainly just because, like I said, recent stuff has got me a bit paranoid. He has always had a great heartrate, and healthy accelerations and so on, and so I've been reassured just in time for him to start a big old kick-fest in there after what must have been a long nap! ;) When the midwife has listened in, she said he was a very happy baby in there :)

I had a trace of protein in my urine, but nothing else untoward. My bp was 120/68 so that's fine, and I have a LOT of cm now so it's hard not to get a clean urine sample (which can show up as leukocytes or protein, or both). My iron levels came back good.

Nothing much else to report other than a noticable increase in BH contractions, and a definite change in their intensity. My bump gets quite rock hard with some of them, and they occur all day now (usually it's more so in the evening, and before recently it was only in the evenings that I really noticed them). Two mornings ago I got up and was sitting on the sofa with my little two, breastfeeding (that's usually the first thing they want to do for a short while), and I had two quite hard contractions in a row which were the first painful contractions this pregnancy - pretty mild though, nothing to get too excited about! And that was it, just the two! ;)

Yesterday for the first time I started to feel periody/crampy on and off, and have done a bit today. Again I went back and read my old diary entries and found that actually that is normal for me at 39 weeks, no matter whether I go on to give birth a week later or TWO weeks later. I just start the crampy business around the 39 week mark. I guess time will tell again!

I have been REALLY anxious about birth these past few days, and need/want to write more about that - it's just normal almost-there anxiety though - but have no time now. I need to get going to the scan. I am much less anxious about it today :) Hormones don't help sometimes!

I will update soon with the news on how this afternoon goes. Hoping everything is fine, but prepared if it's not. Thanks for praying for my little manny!