4 weeks and 3 days - scan and tests...

Sorry to update so late in the day! It's late and I'm tired out and nauseous, so I will try to be quick!

So I had my scan this morning. First they did an abdominal scan (I was thinking, "What?!" - what are they going to see at 4 weeks, that way, lol?!!), and of course they saw nothing, so they sent me to empty my bladder before the internal scan. They asked me to save the sample for testing - WHOOPS! I had just been to the loo before heading out to the hospital! I gave them what I had, though, and they used it to take a pregnancy test. I heard the nurse say quietly, "It's very faint...", which made me feel discouraged, but then I remembered that hospital tests measure at 50miU (home tests are 25miU sensitive, and the super sensitive ones are 10miU!), and I had only just done my FMU down the toilet at home! So I tried to let that one roll off my back.

The sonographer was lovely and reassuring. She looked all over my uterus but did not see a THING. She could see a corpus luteal cyst on my ovary (I forget which side) which is consistent with pregnancy, and noted that my decidua (lining of my womb) is 9mm thick. I asked if that was normal for pregnancy and she said yes, it was a good thickness for a healthy pregnancy. She could see a pocket of fluid, but nothing else. She reassured me that it was probably just too early, and sent me to wait to see the doctor.

After AGES, I saw the doctor, who examined my tummy and asked detailed questions about my symptoms and bleeding, etc. My bleeding is exactly the same today as it has been for 7 days now. It is like a constant drip. Sometimes it seems like I have hours without any, and then I will go to the loo and have some run out, like it was collecting somewhere. Otherwise it's a steady amount (not a lot, but much more than just spotting) all day and all night. Always either bright red, or more commonly dark red. Very rarely brown. So I told her all this in answer to her questions.

She said that because I have had pain (in the first few days of the bleeding, which I told her I thought was implantation cramping) and am bleeding, and because I am pregnant (by urine test and uterine lining) and they have not visualised anything in my womb yet, they can't rule out ectopic pregnancy. As such they are treating me as a potential emergency case, until they can rule it out, just to be on the safe side. I HOPE that's all it will ever be - on the safe side! :/ The doctor said that she would discuss with the consultant what the plan of action should be, and then let me know, so back I went to wait in the waiting room. After she called me back, she took blood from me to test for my hcg levels and progesterone levels - I have never had a beta done before! :) They do it over in the States but not here.

When she looked at the clock and said, "If we do this now, it should be back by this evening, and we will give you a call by 7pm to let you know what will happen next." - that's when I realised she meant what she said about the potential emergency case! Same day results on the NHS?!! :-O They are taking awesome care of me, and I'm so happy with how thorough they are being. She said that depending on the results, either they might indicate a failing pregnancy and maybe that would be the reason for my bleeding (she referred to the very faint positive on the urine test, though I set her straight on the bold lines of my home tests and the fact that I went to the loo before coming to the hospital!), OR they might be within normal levels. Based on the results, they might have me come back in 48 hours for a repeat blood test, or arrange a follow-up scan.

A sweet nurse called at 5.30pm and said that my results were in! She said my hcg count was consistent with a well-implanted pregnancy (what a wonderful thing that was to my ears - "well-implanted pregnancy"!! Relief!), and that my progesterone levels were "nice and high" to sustain the pregnancy, but that it looked like it was just "very early days yet". My count was 147 at 17DPO, which I thought was maybe on the low side, but apparently anything over 100 means no repeat blood test as it's deemed to be progressing healthily, and a scan is usually arranged next. So she calculated that with my hcg levels doubling every 48-72 hours (if they do...), we should be able to see something on ultrasound if I come back a week from today. I will be 5 weeks and 3 days - SEE?!?!! This is why they should've listened to me in the first place, lol! I will DEFINITELY lie next time about the date of my last period. I always do. I'm frustrated that I forgot to this time! Ah well.

So I have a week to wait, but I'm greatly encouraged by my hcg count and the fact that my progesterone is nice and high, because I had started to worry about it maybe being low and that's why I'm bleeding. Hopefully my numbers will multiply enough over the week for them to be high enough to visualise at least the gestational sac next week. They want to visualise a pregnancy within my uterus, so that they can rule out ectopic pregnancy. I am a bit worried about it, but I'm trying not to, despite the fact that I EXCEL at these things! ;) I have been having twinges and pulling pains in my right side, inside my hip but low into my pubic bone/groin almost all day. For the first few hours I figured they were early pregnancy "settling" or "burrowing" pains, but now I am paranoid... It's nice and early, and I know that I can call them if anything gets worse.

I am still nauseous, yuck. I have to have something with me all the time in case I start feeling too queasy. Right now that something is sugar - boiled fruit sweets, or Fox's glacier mints. :) Sucking or crunching a couple of those helps a lot, for the time being, maybe for 5 or 10 minutes, and then the return of the nausea is gradual so it buys me some time. It's still not overwhelming, and I am nervously bracing myself for the weeks to come when it will "kick in" (making this seem like a walk in the park) and knock me for six. Oh please let it not be toooo bad!!! I have seven little ones to keep up with and provide food and hygiene for! :/ With it starting this early, I am also worried it will be worse than usual when it gets going properly. I do NOT want to be sick!!! Even spending most of my waking hours for weeks on end feeling like I was constantly literally ABOUT to, I never actually did. And I don't want to change that this time! :/

So that is today's news. My temp was almost identical to yesterday's (36.87 instead of 36.86), nice and high, and I didn't test today because I knew I was going to the hospital. Now that I have a positive blood test with an actual quantitative hcg result, I don't need to take any more tests, unless things change like a week down the line and I wonder if I am miscarrying or something. Same with temping. So I think my chart is complete, at 17 days past ovulation! :) SO surreal to be putting closure on a new pregnancy chart and moving on to actual PREGNANCY!!! I so hope everything will be okay, and my baby is in my womb, and my bleeding is harmless and will clear up soon. Once I can get to the next scan and see an intra-uterine pregnancy, and hopefully either the bleeding is going or else they can tell me from the scan why it's happening, then I will feel ready to embrace the whole thing without hesitating somewhat to protect myself in case I lose my little one. Right now I feel pretty detached from any emotions over that - I can discuss it and feel pretty matter-of-fact about the possibility. It doesn't fill me with dread, it just seems like it will be a shame, but "one of those things". I know that can't possibly be realistic of me - it is sure to be heartbreaking and I am sure to need to grieve if it happens, but I am taking care to stay at arms length right now so that I don't plunge into that when it might not even be warranted, you know? I can't wait to relax and be fully excited and look ahead with joy, thinking about the future for this baby, and names and due dates, etc. And announcing! :) I do already have a plan for announcing this pregnancy, and have even bought a few necessary bits and bobs... I will use them another time if need be, but it's a SECRET! Even from my bloggy readers! :P For now...

Thanks for keeping up with my news and leaving me encouragement and well wishes, and for praying for me and my sweet baby. My eighth baby... wow. That hasn't actually sunk in yet - one of the things at arms length... but HOW BLESSED?!! Eight babies. :)

4 weeks, 2 days pregnant!

Just so as not to leave anyone in suspense (if anyone is, at all, lol!) - my temp went back up - phew! :) I tested again, but for the first time, I couldn't bear to watch. I felt like it might be fainter, so I laid it flat to start "cooking" (?!) and when I saw the line start to appear (about 20 seconds in - pretty good start! :) ) I looked away and pottered around the bathroom getting stuff ready to have a shower. Right before I got in the shower, I had managed to waste about 4 or 5 minutes and the test says to read from 3 minutes, so.... It was darker than yesterday!!! I let out the air I hadn't been breathing for what felt like ages! :)

It will get a little darker as it dries out to match the older ones, but I couldn't wait to take a progression pic of all the First Response tests I've taken so far! :) It looks more encouraging to me now that I see them all together, and yesterday's which worried me at the time, doesn't look so bad. Here's the pic:



So my temp is up, my test is looking darker, I am feeling queasy and slightly crampy today. I am still spotting the same. I had a few drops of blood into the toilet when I got up this morning and went to test (same as usual, dark red), so it's still ongoing. But I'm pregnant - I'M PREGNANT!! I have a little baby growing inside me, and hopefully growing well and normally! I will have to check online to see the stage of development at 16DPO, but I know that it's exactly one week from today that the heart starts beating. Amaaazing! :) I am slightly nervous to get excited and attached, and so on, but with encouraging signs I just don't want to waste precious time holding back. I love love love being pregnant, and after wondering if I would ever have that blessing again, I'm so thrilled that I'm here AGAIN! :D Thank you Lord!

Tomorrow morning I have my scan. I so hope we can see a gestational sac, though I know there's a chance we won't be able to see anything yet. Because the bleeding is ongoing, I'm hoping that they might offer me a re-scan in a week or two. I hate bleeding in pregnancy, but I manage to do it so often, lol! ;)

Anyway, I will update again soon! :)

4 weeks, 1 day pregnant

Thanks for all the lovely congrats and name ideas! :) I am definitely choosing to embrace each day of this pregnancy for however long it lasts. I prayed a lot today in the car, and feel very much at peace about this child being in God's hands, whatever happens. You know (and he knows!) what I hope for, but God is good, all the time. :)

So my temp dropped again this morning. It is now below the triphasic level, still a good temp and not anywhere near my coverline or anything, but that's the second drop in a row. I do know it doesn't necessarily mean anything, but I'm just saying. Then I made an appointment to see the doctor, for 9am. I didn't have a test left to use, so I just didn't go to the loo for my first morning wee until after I got back from the doctor (having swung by the chemist first to buy a test!). So that meant 10 hours-ish, of urine saved. And the test was faded on the top half (both the test and control line), but even the lower half that was normal looked like it was a bit fainter than yesterday's test. Even after 10 hours of urine... So that has made me feel a bit unconfident about things. Weird thing is, I am still nauseous from getting up to, well, now (right before going to bed). I am pregnant-tired out (had the luxury of a 2 hour crashed-out nap this afternoon with Lydia, since Neil was home today!), heartburn-y, and still have the weirdly soft skin, etc. I know the hormones hang around for a while so symptoms can remain, but it's so early that they'd only just gone UP, surely?! So if they've dropped enough to affect my temp and the strength of the line on a test, wouldn't that same cause have made a difference to my morning sickness by now?

Anyway. The spotting and bleeding has continued, almost identical to yesterday - always dark red, except for a while late morning when it was brown-ish instead and I got overly excited because YAY, finally old blood!!! But this afternoon (at the exact same time of day as yesterday actually), I suddenly had a bleed that dripped into the toilet, which isn't so encouraging. It lasted a short bit, and then stopped. Like STOPPED. It has been probably 8 hours since then, I had a little spotting when I wiped at first, and then no spotting at all, even when I wipe! I keep thinking I feel bleeding, and rushing off to check, but there's nothing at all at the moment, which is nice! I am sure it might start up again at any time though. It's day 5 of bleeding now, and it isn't changing like menstrual blood, just staying the same.

The doctor I saw this morning pushed about on my tummy all over the place, and said he wasn't concerned that it might be an ectopic pregnancy (thankfully!), but that it would be a good idea to have a scan to see what is going on in there. He is going by the first day of my last period (why oh why didn't I just do what I usually do and lie so that the "first day of my last period" is exactly 2 weeks before my ovulation date, so that their dates are accurate?!!), which would make me 5 weeks and 1 day pregnant today. I said that I am pretty sure I ovulated a week later than "usual" so may only be 4 weeks pregnant, and asked if the scan would be too early to see anything therefore. He asked when my first positive test was, and when I said 6 days ago, he said I must have ovulated 3 weeks ago then! *sigh* Ah well! ;) I love that they are being very nice and efficient for me, and I didn't suggest or ask for a scan at all! :)

The doctor phoned me at home after I got back, to tell me he had arranged a scan for Thursday this week! That's the day after tomorrow, and I will be 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant, if I am still hanging in there by then. I googled and it looks like I might be able to see the gestational sac by then, which would be good to see. I don't want to waste an appointment, so if things change or my tests get lighter I will cancel it.

I went out again tonight and bought more tests - maaaan, the money we spend on pregnancy tests, lol! I never used to spend much all these years, just bought a cheap bulk pack of strips on the internet for like £5 and that kept me going for at least one pregnancy, lol! These First Response tests are GREAT, and now I'm watching the progression of the tests, I have to keep using them, and they are way more expensive than cheapy sticks! ;) Anyhow, I bought a couple more tonight (used a coupon though - go me!), and now I have two to use.

Tomorrow will tell all, I think. My temp will either drop, stay the same, or go up. If it drops, I will feel like I only need to confirm what I'm thinking with a test to see the line get lighter again. If it's the same, it could go either way. If it goes up, that's good. I hope I get an accurate temp and do not wake up cold and mouth-breathing! ;)

Tomorrow is also a crunch day for testing. With a slightly lighter test result today, either it will continue to get lighter tomorrow, which will be a final verdict really. Or it will stay about the same (still not good, because after 2 days it ought to get darker), so I'll have to keep on checking the next day to see what happens. OR it will get darker, which will be good.

I am not feeling particularly confident about either the temp or the test, for some reason. I am trying to remind myself that right now I am 100% pregnant, and blessed with the privilege of carrying a new baby, a new little life, inside me. Today's blessing doesn't change if it's all taken away tomorrow. Today is still today. I am still "with child" today, and rejoicing in it! :)

I will update tomorrow.

4 weeks pregnant! :)

I'm sorry it's taken me a couple of days to update! I even wrote most of this earlier in the day, but never got chance to finish it. Now it's REALLY late, well after midnight, and I need to hurry up and just post something! Here is what I wrote this morning:

So I have arrived at 4 weeks pregnant! :)

My bleeding is continuing but seems to be more settled than before... maybe. Yesterday I started the day with bad cramps (well, less bad than before, but not mild), and very quickly they faded to mild cramps. By late afternoon I only really had a feeling of uncomfy fullness and slight pressure, sort of a crampy feel but not enough to call actual "cramps", and my bleeding seemed to have eased right off (just a little dark red spotting). Late in the evening I had some bright red again when I wiped, which is frustrating, but I'm reassured by the cramps easing off, and also by the fact that my tests are still getting darker lines. :)

Yesterday's temp was 36.96!!! My highest yet! So that reassured me too. Today's was down to 36.8 but that's still above the original triphasic level. Yesterday my test was much darker again than the day before, but today's is pretty much exactly the same as yesterday's. I haven't got a photo of today's test, but here's a photo of the first three together - 11DPO, 12DPO, and yesterday - 13DPO, from top to bottom (11DPO has yellowed a bit and that's made the line look darker than it was originally):



I was really pleased to see how much darker it got each day for the first 3 days, but I don't know if it's okay that there's no change today (14DPO) from yesterday's test. But at least they've been getting stronger. :)

The other reassuring thing is, the night before last (when I last updated here at 3 weeks and 5 days), dinner made my mouth feel a bit watery and weird, and I just thought, hmmm... I felt *slightly yucky*, but nothing more. I did think it seemed a bit like the very first inklings of morning sickness, but at 3 weeks and 5 days, I thought surely not?! Yesterday by late afternoon things smelled a bit "car-sy" and made me have the slightest feeling of travel queasiness with it. Also from that point, my mouth began to be way more watery than usual, and it stayed that way until I went to bed, 7 hours later!! The watery-ness was sometimes metallic tasting too. By dinner time I felt yucky. Really queasy and not like eating food at all. I ate anyway, and felt gross - proper nausea - from dinner to bed, all evening. Bleurgh. I had just too much wind in my stomach and it was making me nauseous, but there's a specific feeling to morning sickness, that's different from other nausea, and I recognised it straight away. NOT EVEN 4 WEEKS PREGNANT YET!!! :-O

Today I woke up and instantly felt sick. Not overwhelming miserable fog of bleurgh (which it is likely to become if experience is anything to go by), but just yuck, I feel sick! Definitely morning sickness. It hasn't lifted at all, all day long, even for a moment. The best I've felt was right after eating my dinner. Chewing my fingers/nails makes me feel yucky, and so does drinking water. Classic morning sickness feeling for me. Also super reassuring as far as the pregnancy goes!

BUT. Arthur, Matthew, Nathan, and Benjamin - morning sickness started on the dot of 5 weeks and 6 days. Samuel, 5 weeks and 3 days. Elijah, 5 weeks and 5 days. Very similar - I thought Samuel seemed "early" at the time, lol! Then Lydia - morning sickness started at 4 weeks and 3 days - definitely early, and lo and behold she was a girl! :) So, 3 weeks and 5/6 days?!!! Crazy early! I am not sure what to think about that. Another girl? More than one baby?!! I don't know, but it's not my norm, that's for sure! I am nervous as anything about how much worse it will be this time, starting so early. Lydia's was my worst actual nausea yet, not so bad when it was starting early, but once I got to the usual almost-6-weeks time, OH MY GOODNESS. Bleurgh. So that's worrisome! But I'm thankful that it's a helpful reassurance - I hope that's what it means anyway...

Well, since I wrote the morning's stuff, I have had new bleeding. :( Getting fed up with it already, and I can't believe it when I look at my chart and see that it's only 4 days of bleeding! It feels like so much longer than that. It dies down to dark red spotting, or next to nothing for a few hours, and then bright red when I wipe again. This afternoon I had had no spotting for a few hours, and I was changing Lydia's nappy when I felt a sudden "flow", and as soon as I could, I went upstairs to the loo to check (knowing what it was). Dark red blood on my pad, and when I wiped, and when I sat down on the toilet, it was enough to drop-drop-drop into the toilet as I sat there - that's probably the heaviest bleeding I've had so far. BUT, I didn't get cramping with it. That all ended yesterday, and hasn't returned. I have varying levels of heavy discomfort and a ball-like sensation deep in the pit of my abdomen - sometimes I even think I feel a tennis ball type weight/pressure in my cervix or rectum - weird description but it's the closest I can describe it. I can't remember if that's just early pregnancy for you, or if it's not quite right.

Anyway, the heavier bleed settled down within minutes and I just had dark red spotting on the pad over a few hours, nothing more. If I go to the loo and wipe, it's red, and not a small amount, but there's less reaching the pad, if that makes sense. I haven't had much in the way of spotting over the evening, but just as I'm typing this, I can feel some more leakiness going on. :( It can't be right... it worries me a bit, even though I bled heavier (I think) with Elijah, thinking it was a period. I wore tampons then, so I didn't actually assess the bleeding as such, so I can't compare.

Tomorrow I was planning to use my Clearblue Digital test, as I have no other tests left now, and I will be 4 weeks and 1 day (or 2 weeks and 1 day after conception). The digital tests tell you how many weeks you are since conception, based on the level of hormones it detects, and I was hoping that if I get past the 2 week mark, it might say 2-3 instead of 1-2... that would be VERY reassuring. I didn't want to do it right on 4 weeks, because it might say 1-2 still, but I don't want to leave it until it's nearer 3 weeks either. So maybe tomorrow or the next day? I think it will be less than reassuring if it says 1-2 weeks when I'm actually 2-3 weeks, though.

Neil came home halfway through the day today, with a migraine. He had run out of the medication he usually takes, and thankfully we were able to get the doctor to prescribe him some this afternoon, so he is okay, but not going in to work tomorrow because he would have to drive 4 hours, and he's usually a bit delicate the day after a migraine. So, it seems like the right time for me to make a doctor's appointment, since he's home, and book my pregnancy in. I also want to talk to the doctor about the bleeding, because I've googled and there's no way it's "normal" for implantation bleeding. It wasn't with Elijah either, so I don't know if that's because it's *my* norm and therefore okay, or if he was lucky to survive... My googling did discover, unexpectedly, that heavier implantation bleeding can occur with twins (and Elijah was a twin, I'm pretty sure), soooo....

It's way too early for a scan, for a couple of weeks yet, so I don't know if there's anything they can say or do for me tomorrow anyway, but all the advice online is to tell the doctor about heavy red bleeding in early pregnancy, especially dark red, and especially with cramps. I am hoping it's not something like an ectopic pregnancy, but I have also heard that tests can be negative for a while at first with ectopics, which hasn't been the case for me.

So that is the current situation. I am still irritable, REALLY physically exhausted, weepier than usual (not just when anxious, just cute stories or photos choke me up!), very breathless at the slightest exertion, and dizzy sometimes. I am trying to find things that might take the edge off the nausea - so far I have tried apple, grapes, tropical fruit juice, and mints. They all felt nice to eat/drink, and the juice helped for like a minute, but nothing else. I only tried chocolate mints so far, but I have put some boiled sweets and mints in the Tesco order for tomorrow so I'll try those too. I have also ordered an organic essential oils type lip balm thingy that's designed specifically for morning sickness. Mixed reviews - some said it made no difference, some said it took the edge off, and some said it worked wonders. Anything is worth a try, or to add to my arsenal! I know I'll probably feel desperate for relief in a couple of weeks! I hope...

Jemma, yes I was trying to do all sorts with my chart, lol! I want to register the ACTUAL bleeding, but if I do that instead of spotting, it automatically starts a new cycle, aaaarrrghh! I can't override it! So then I tried merging this cycle and the "new cycle" that it started for me, and that worked, but then it wouldn't register my positive tests or the fact that I am pregnant, so long as I had the bleeding there! So I changed it back to spotting. *sigh* I managed to merge two cycles for Elijah's chart, and stay "pregnant", so I can't understand why it won't this time! I will have to leave it as spotting, but it's not true! I am BLEEDING! I am just writing copious notes for each day there, instead, of what is actually happening.

Thanks for all the congrats! :) I am tentative too, but I am definitely pregnant for now, and am trying to choose to enjoy the blessing of being pregnant for the 8th time, however long it lasts! :D God is the author of my little one's life, and I trust him. My baby is due January 4th. I will probably talk way more about that end of things when I feel more at ease about the pregnancy. Hopefully things will settle down. Or the doctor will suggest something, I don't know. I will keep you posted! :)

12DPO - 3 weeks 5 days!

Sorry I didn't update again last night like I said I would! I was so tired! Thank you for all the congrats - it feels so surreal! :)

The rest of yesterday after I last posted, I was so so SO crampy. I mean, all the time. It occasionally came and went, but basically I had pretty bad low back ache, and period-strong cramps all day, and all evening. They were particularly bad during the children's bedtime, and I felt sure I was bleeding again, so I silently fretted a bit while settling the kids into bed and nursing Lydia and Elijah for their bedtimes. I finally got to check around 9pm and there was nothing at all on my pad, but when I wiped there was some dark red. It definitely didn't look like a normal period - actually it looked a bit like EWCM except for the colour. I had held my urine all day since testing around lunch time, so I wanted to take another test to see if it was darker. I only had my Clearblue Digital, my last First Response (same as yesterday's - I wish I had bought more of those now!), and my last useless cheapy internet stick. I knew I would want to have a good test to pee on in the morning, and I couldn't bring myself to use the Clearblue Digital yet, so I used the last cheapy test stick. I noticed that the one I took in the morning that was negative, had a slightly visible shadowy line on it (I would still call it negative), which, when compared with the previous day's cheapy test, was *slightly* more visible. So I thought maybe... and I wanted to see if there was any sort of line apparent by the evening.

I haven't got a photo of it (because I haven't got around to taking one!), but there IS a line on the cheapy stick that I did last night. I would definitely call it positive, but it's much fainter than the First Response positive I got yesterday. When I line it up with the morning's one, and the day before's too, then I can really see that the line gets stronger on each test, which is good.

I was really exhausted last night, and also bothered by a new symptom - NAUSEA, ugh! I think it's hand-in-hand with gassiness which has returned, but also I was just so wired and excited and shaky and so on, about the day's big news! Maybe that had an effect? I did not feel like eating dinner, but ate chicken, potatoes and veg anyway which went down fine. Also really thirsty still. I also discovered that I felt weepy when I was looking at cute video clips of animals that my friends seem to insist on posting at Facebook, lol! ;) Weepiness at things like that is a reeeeal clue for me, every time! :)

Yesterday I was sure that my skin was "weirdly soft", and I charted it as such, but Neil isn't so sure. He said, "Mmmmmaayyyyybe...." He's my ultimate tester, and I usually wait for his approval (!!) but I charted it anyway, because it really did feel super soft to me. I charted frequent urination for the first time, because I had the urge to go more than I'm used to. Heartburn again, but only just last thing at night. Also another new symptom last thing at night yesterday, was tender breasts for the first time. I went to bed feeling that I was definitely pregnant, at least for now, and wondering what my temp would do in the morning.

SO! This morning my temp was 36.86 again - back up to the exact temp that was my highest yet this cycle! :) Encouraging! Not encouraging was the fact that even as I woke up, I was already VERY crampy, like a period. I had a feeling that I would still be bleeding, and it made me feel anxious right on getting up for the day. :/ I went to the loo and sure enough, fresh red bleeding. Just when I wiped, but it was enough to unnerve me. I peed in a cup to dip a test, and my urine was turned pinkish by the bleeding I was having, which gave me a sinking feeling as well. I do NOT like bleeding when I'm pregnant, at any stage!! :(

So I used my last First Response test, and could see the line come up within the first 30-60 seconds, and then just watched it as it got stronger over the 3 minutes. Nice and clear, and I was sure it was stronger than yesterday's, so I was encouraged. I let it dry out a bit before I took a photo of it with yesterday's so that the comparison was more accurate (the top test is yesterday's and the bottom one is today's):



Now since then, I have basically had an entire 12 hours of major cramps and ebb-and-flow style bleeding. :/ It still seems implantation-ish to me, but it's really throwing my confidence! The cramping is out of this world - like a fairly bad period, and just constant all day long. I have had pretty bad low backache with it almost the entire time. I have had a couple of 20-30 minute blocks in the day where it eased up to only very mild crampiness, but that's it. Otherwise I have been really sore. It has a dragging, heavy, queasy feel to it, and it's hard to move about and focus on anything else without feeling a bit rubbish with it. I know I've had cramping (and even cramping and bleeding) in previous pregnancies at implantation, but I can't remember how BAD the cramps were. In my blog it just says bad cramps, or that it's been "period-like" so I guess that should reassure me. I have had a headache on and off today as well, and I took painkillers for that in the morning, which did absolutely nothing for either my headache or my cramps! :P

As far as the bleeding goes, it was like a light period all morning, then just spotting (still reddish) through the afternoon, and then for a couple of hours there was nothing at all. Then before putting the kids to bed, I was feeling really crampy and wanted to check, and found dark red EWCM when I wiped, and spotting on my pad. :/ More very dark red bleeding after putting them to bed, but only really looking like a worrying amount when I wipe - it's not making much more than spotting on a pad. I think with the colour and with the on-and-off bleeding, it's not behaving like a period at all, so that in itself gives me hope that it's completely to do with implantation and not so much to do with my womb deciding to clear out.

I most definitely feel pregnant! Neil was giving me a cuddle today and said, "Oh wow, definitely that soft skin thing today!" :) Finally, a thumbs-up from the man who knows these things! ;) He said, "You are now officially pregnant!" haha! I am definitely weeing more frequently today, and super irritable.

Oh - Arthur knows! As of yesterday afternoon. I was putting the photo of my positive test on here and I had it enlarged on the screen to edit it before posting it. The children were in the garden playing and I was sitting under the window inside. I was so focused on the photo, I suddenly looked up and saw Arthur standing at the window staring at the screen over my shoulder with eyes like saucers and a wide open mouth, lol! I jumped with surprise, clutched the laptop to my chest, and said, "What are you doing?!" Not that he could hear me properly, as the window was closed! He mouthed, "PREGNANT?!?!!" and came running inside! Whoops! He's ecstatically thrilled, he was leaping about the living room doing lots of silent squealing, bless him! I told him because he already knew from what he'd seen - I can't believe I was silly enough not to think they might see through the window!! D'oh! I told him I only found out that very day, and he said, "Show me the test!!" so I took him up to the bathroom and showed him. He basically walked around with a huge smile on his face for the rest of the day. :) At bedtime, when he was the only one left awake, I talked to him about the fact that it's very early, and I am waiting for stronger test results, and also I am bleeding (he knows about that from previous pregnancies) and would like to wait for that to settle down before telling the other children. I hope he can keep the secret! So far he is doing great. He is awake long after the others lying in bed thinking of all the Bible names he can think of, and wondering if we'll have a girl or a boy. Love him! :) I did talk to him about there being no guarantee that this baby will stay with us, and then we prayed about the baby. I wish I could have announced it to him along with the others later down the line, but oh well. He is so much more mature than he used to be, I like seeing that in him - and he LOVES having new babies in our family, which is so lovely! :)

Well I have just been to the loo because of feeling "leaky", and have quite a lot of dark red bleeding, with teeny tiny clots here and there. :/ I really hate this part! I read in my blog that I had bad cramps with Samuel from 10-12DPO (exactly the same as this time) but that it cleared up completely at 13DPO. Also I had bad cramps with Nathan from 7-9DPO, so it seems to be typically 3 days of bad cramps around implantation. With Nathan I had some pink spotting and then a bit of red when I wiped, in that time. Nothing much else. With Samuel only the faintest brown spotting in that time-frame. With Elijah, obviously, I cramped and bled heavily like a period from 7DPO onwards (over a week), but I didn't even think I was pregnant so I didn't take detailed note of it all, and of course I wasn't worried.

Tomorrow I am going to see what my temp is in the morning. I am really hoping it will stay up just for reassurance, as I know that if it drops, it doesn't necessarily mean anything bad at this stage (it could bounce back up the next day - it has happened to me in previous pregnancies (Benjamin's was one with a big drop after testing positive)). But unless I can test again with the same brand (another First Response or even a cheapy internet stick since I have a baseline on those for comparison), I won't be able to compare it properly to see if the line is getting darker or lighter. I know it can vary. But with alllll this bleeding and cramping, I really need to see some reassuring evidence - I already know for sure that I am pregnant. I just want to STAY pregnant, and I hope I will...

I only have my Clearblue Digital left. I know it will say "pregnant" and probably "pregnant 1-2" to show the number of weeks after conception I am, but that test is special to me. I no longer need it to confirm what I already know. I would love to use it to put a seal on a pregnancy that seems like it is going to stick, and I am anxious about this one now. I don't have a "feeling" about it going wrong, and I don't feel any less pregnant than I did, but I have all these symptoms of a womb trying to empty itself (slightly unsettling, you know?!).

We're almost out of milk and bread, so Neil is going to pop out to the supermarket first thing in the morning - well, first thing-ISH (probably 10am or later when it comes to it!), and I have asked him to find me some First Response pregnancy tests. I am going to have to hold my wee (and my anxiety) and wait for him to return with the tests, before I can relax and see what's going on. I will try to update sooner than late evening, if I get chance. The days are so busy!

To answer a question from Joanne about checking my cervix - I used to check it for years, for the first few babies! I also used to check for dilation at the end of my pregnancies. But I guess various factors led to me stopping - firstly it was a bit of a faff and I didn't feel the need - my temps gave me good indication and I just didn't need the cervical data to go with it. Also I had implantation spotting in my 2WW once (with Nathan?) and was checking my cervix until then, and suddenly did not want to do it any more once I was bleeding a bit. The other thing is, in my 3rd pregnancy I discovered I was Group B Strep positive, and stopped checking my cervix in late pregnancy so as not to risk introducing "trouble" because of that! I guess I just stopped checking in general, and never really went back to it. I have checked my cervix on the odd occasion in the past year when wondering if the EWCM I was randomly having actually meant anything, lol! It was when I went many months without ovulating. I don't think there's anything wrong with checking your cervix at all. :)

Okay, I must go to bed - so tired and headachy (and crampy!). I hope I will have good news tomorrow. I feel sort of tentative titling my blog entry "3 weeks 5 days!" like I always do right after the first positive test.... but I am going to anyway, because regardless of what will happen next, right now I am 100% pregnant, at 3 weeks and 5 days exactly. I want to cherish every single day, in case I don't have many with my precious little peanut.

All over the place at 11DPO!

So this morning I woke up mouth breathing, and not fully covered, urrrrggghhh!!! SO annoying! lay there for 10 mins with my mouth shut! ;) I couldn't doze off so I temped and got 36.71, having closed my mouth for a while, lol! It's a drop, but still at the triphasic level. I still did not like to see a drop!

While I lay there awake and trying to doze off, I had interesting sensations in the pit of my abdomen. I felt HEAVY, proper heavy, and full. Not quite a crampy sensation, but almost. I also had some clear BH contractions - never felt anything so clear that early on in pregnancy, or at ALL ever, when not pregnant. It was like almost vice-like pressure which was both increasing and tight on the front low down (like a contraction), and giving downwards pressure like a ball pressing into my cervix/rectum at the same time. TOTALLY distinct contractions. But totally painless. I had maybe 3 of them in the time I lay there.

I tested and got a clear negative, which I felt frustrated about, because I just don't like those new cheapy tests, and won't buy them again. They are not like they used to be! Anyway, I was nervous when I went to the loo first thing, in case I was bleeding. But I just had normal (pregnant!) CM, so I tested. Wiped again after - no spotting. I felt heavy and almost like a mildly crampy/pressing down sensation the whole time in the bathroom though. An hour later I went to check on my test for the millionth time (ha!), thought I'd better just check my underwear because of the continuing pressure/heavy/slightly crampy sensation, and saw nothing. I decided to bear down a bit and wipe, and there it was - red blood. :( I really did not get it, with the beautifully pregnant chart and all... But I totally presumed that was the start of my period and the reason for the drop in temperature.

I carried on as normal, treating it like a period starting. I felt almost continuously pressure-y and heavy low in my abdomen, but not particularly crampy as such, all morning. I have felt very irritable today, the kids are being impossible with huge water floods all over the kitchen, not doing their chores so more mess is made at the table, loo rolls unrolled everywhere, etc. Lydia is clingy and whiney and everyone is constantly asking me questions or telling tales on each other, often all at once, and I'm going crazy! I feel physically and mentally tired and overwhelmed today and want to be left alone to relish some silence and eat chocolate and pamper myself, but no can do. Not in the best frame of mind today, and I feel a bit annoyed with myself about that! :/

Sooo, around 1pm, having ignored the slightly gaggy moment I had over the smell of banana peel (how dare pregnancy symptoms torment me when I was having my period, lol!), I was reading the news to the boys about the Chilean volcano erupting, and Arthur said, "The headline says "very very frightened"!" and I said, "Yes, people were very frightened." and my voice TOTALLY broke and I choked up! Instantly, I got excited because - totally a pregnant thing for me, not when I have a period or even just before usually!

The pressure feeling was continuing, and I finally went to the loo to change, and check on the bleeding. I actually gasped as I saw the little bleeding that was there was BROWN - some dark brown/black!!!! It doesn't rule out a period, but it's extremely likely to be a pregnancy bleed rather than a period if that happened, from my extensive experience of early pregnancy bleeds! :)

AND the postman brought my First Response tests this morning after I first tested and got a negative, and I needed a wee (2nd morning urine, had been drinking tea and water so fairly dilute, and only a few hours after last wee), so I ran and got them, and peed on one! :)



BFPEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! Faint but absolutely no denying the 2 pink lines!!!! So happy! I actually re-looked at the cheapy stick from earlier this morning, and maybe I'm making my eyes see something (and it wasn't there within the 10 mins or even 30 I think), but the dried out test has a faint greyish line (evap usually) that yesterday's faint dried out test of the same brand doesn't have, so mayyybeee! Since then I have felt SO very periody and crampy. Keep going to the loo (it's about an hour since I tested) to check but either nothing at all or some faint brown residue! Yay! Very positive. Not comfy about the bad cramps though, even though I know they're normal at 11DPO when pregnant... My skin is weirdly soft. I am shaking with adrenaline, though it could also be lack of lunch, it's so late but I got distracted, lol! Must go and attend to lunch/kids, but will be back later! :D

*TEN* DPO!!!!!

It's the very end of the day at TEN days past ovulation, and I'm still here!!! No bleeding, no spotting, nothing! I can't believe it that I only have to sleep and then I'm at 11 days past ovulation - I can't remember what it feels like to be past 10 days after ovulation without a period or a confirmed pregnancy! With Lydia I was 9DPO when I got a positive test. In fact, actually it has been YEARS! My longest luteal phase before Lydia was 8 days, and with Elijah, I didn't test at all until 17DPO because I had a huge temp drop and bleeding at 7DPO, which I presumed was my period and didn't think about anything else until 10 days later! ;) My longest luteal phase before he was conceived was 6 days. Samuel's positive test came at 11DPO, and the longest luteal phase before him was 10 days. So it really has been a lonnnng time since I have been sitting twiddling my thumbs on the eve of 11DPO with neither a positive test in my hand, nor any sign of my period showing up!

So this morning I had a super duper high temp, which I wasn't expecting! :) I was half expecting it to drop down, but the best I had hoped for was that it would stay on a level with the triphasic, flat-ish temps I had been having. Instead it went UP! So exciting!!! :D I just can't look at my chart and think of any possibility other than I simply MUST be pregnant! :)

BUT, I tested with a 25miU test (not the super sensitive ones) and got a very stark white negative, which was disappointing, and not quite what I'd expected given my temp, and at 10DPO. I have had quite clear positives at 10DPO before (I know every pregnancy is different). I still had the cup of FMU, and just happened to see a test packet at the bottom of the pile (I know that makes it sound like a have a huge stash of pregnancy tests in the cabinet, but I promise my pile is actually just 2 or 3 high now! ;) ), and I thought it was a sneaky super-sensitive test that had been hiding, so I opened it and THEN saw that it was another 25miU test, just not the exact same brand of cheapy stick that I'd been using. Whoops! So since I'd opened it, I dipped it anyway, and that one had a very faint line on it. I am not sure if it is invalid though, because the line is only really visible on one side of the line... It came up within the first 2 or 3 minutes. Shelby, I know it would be "wise" to dip, walk away, come back and read the test, but I LOVE watching pregnancy tests!!! I actually can hardly tear myself away, and I choose to because it's exciting! I love it! Even when it's hard or disappointing, I would still choose to do it again the next day rather than walk away and come back later. I did that once, and felt disappointed to have missed the line develop - like I got the result but not the action, lol! I just don't feel that way about testing. For me it's part of the fun to watch the stick "cook". :)

I managed to get a so-so picture of the test from this morning with the "is it/isn't it" line:



You can barely see it, right? And it's only one "edge" of the line that's visible properly. It's still a line, I think, especially compared with the other test which had NOTHING on it, but I wouldn't call it a positive test, yet... I don't think...  I think there's now an extremely faint grey evaporation line on the stark negative test, but nothing like this one. So, I don't know... I would have expected *something*, however slight, at 10DPO. I don't think I have ever tested negative at 10DPO and then positive later, although I did test negative at 9DPO and positive at 11DPO with Samuel. In hindsight I wish I had tested at 10DPO as well, just to know if a line would have been there yet or not! :) The photo of that positive test from 11DPO is here, if you're interested. I'm encouraged by the fact that it was quite a faint line! :)

So other news for today, before I have to fall over into bed and sleep!...

I had weirdly soft skin this morning, confirmed by Neil when he got home from work, yay! At first he said that one cheek was definitely "pregnant soft", and the other one not quite yet! ;) Both are super soft now though. :) This is a totally pregnant thing for me, as you know. I am having on and off period cramps, and a heavy, full, yucky hot feel in the pit of my abdomen. Some of the cramps are bad enough to be charted as bad cramps, as though my period is arriving and they feel yucky and hot, but they don't last long and are completely gone, or just very mild cramps the next time I stop to think about them, and then they come back again after a bit. I'm charting both mild and bad cramps. Also lots of low backache, nagging and mild, mostly. As I write this I have low backache that makes me want to stretch to try to relieve it, and period-ish pain that's on the mild side, but has a weird sharp quality to it on my left side. Odd! That has been here and then gone, on and off, all day long. When it's gone, it's totally gone. Definitely a pregnancy symptom for me, because pre-period (or when it's actually here too) I never get that.

In other news, I have done something to my foot - the ball of my right foot is throbbing and too painful to put weight on, as of bedtime last night (or maybe earlier?? I can't remember when it started). It swollen and hot which makes me wonder if I broke some little bones in there, but I would SURELY remember that! Anyway, not helping things today! My knees have been hurting for months, but they are particularly bad today because I have had to bear weight differently through my foot to walk about. I can walk but it hurts.

I am still very irritable and being shouty with the boys when they are being difficult. :( I am embarrassed to admit that, even here, and even knowing that it has a hormonal basis, but in the name of honesty and noting everything that's relevant to pregnancy....

I am absolutely definitely "pregnantly" tired out again. Today I also have a headache - quite a bad one actually, which has come on gradually from a tiny "I think I have a headache starting" thing early evening, to "it's quite sore really" at the boys' bedtime, to "urgh, my head really hurts!" now. It's in my eyes, forehead and temples. I have had a lot of sinus headaches lately so maybe it's another of those, but I don't know. I guess it could be a pre-period headache, as it's quite bad. I haven't taken anything for it though. I just took something for it (maybe it will help my foot as well! That kept me awake quite a bit last night!), so hopefully it'll ease off.

I'm very thirsty again today, but I think a bit less so. I have been drinking more though. I am not yet weeing more frequently - sometimes I have been by now, and sometimes not yet, in other pregnancies. I have had heartburn a bit, especially on lying down on my side, at any time of day. It has been a bit sore when nursing today again, and I have definitely had nursing aversion at times today, especially by the end of the day. I have had times where I've just wanted to jerk my top down and say I'm DONE breastfeeding for the day (even in the morning, haha!)!! It is always accompanied by INTENSE irritability, which I've had in abundance (again!!) today. I really never have nursing aversion until I am majorly touched-out and sleep-deprived, but it's VERY common for me when I'm pregnant, even from very early on like this. So I'm noting it because I think it is a pregnancy symptom.

I have been checking my underwear often today, because of the occasional proper period pain, but there is not a spot of pink in sight, even now right before going to bed for the night at TEN DPO!!! :D I am still not sure what to make of the negative test though... I have ordered a pack of 2 First Response tests, but they won't be here for at least a couple of days, so not much point really. I can't drive off to a chemist and buy one, but maybe I can get Neil to pick one up?? Should have thought of that today, d'oh! Oh well.

What else?... I have had some dizziness with the tiredness/tired eyes thing since late afternoon, so I am charting that. Also a weird stabbing pain that flashed on, held for 2 or 3 seconds, and then disappeared again, inside my right hip, about an inch above my pubic bone. Not a little twinge, but a deep, stop-what-I'm-doing-and-focus-on-it pain. And then gone, just like that. Odd, so noting it. I thought the gassiness was improving but it's back again this evening, lol! Oh well! ;)

I think that's it. I have to hang up some washing that is just finishing a spin cycle, throw another load in to wash overnight, and hit my pillow. So wiped out! I am almost nervous about the morning - in a good, exciting way, not a debilitating miserable kind of nervous! :) I can't imagine my temp will stay up as high as it was this morning, seriously. That surprised me! I would hope it might stay at the triphasic level.... If it drops right down then I think that is that. But at least I will have a 10 day luteal phase this cycle!! Which I am thrilled about! :) I did have perfect conditions for a good temp this morning - I was snuggled up so warm in my covers that I was overheating, and my mouth was clamped shut, lol! ;) Waking out of the covers or mouth breathing tomorrow might change my chart a little! OH! I almost forgot - I woke from a vivid and weird dream!!! Never have those, but it's almost something I can count on in very early pregnancy (and the rest of it, now I think about it!).

Hopefully I'll be able to get an accurate temp, and maybe test again if things look promising. I'm almost nervous about that too - what if I temp and it looks good to test again, but I STILL get a negative result? At 9 or even 10DPO that's disappointing but there's still hope that it's just a bit too early. By 11DPO, not so much. I really don't want to use my only Clearblue Digital because I feel all nostalgic about that test stick - it's part two of a two pack that I bought to get my positive test for Lydia's pregnancy, and I'd love to use its partner to test positive for another baby! :) I only want to use it if I'm sure it will be confirming a pregnancy. I will just have to wait and see what my temp is in the morning and go from there.

I'll update asap!

P.S. Sander, I love the name Lily (Lydia has started pronouncing her name Lily (she's trying to say "Lydie"!!) but Neil's sister is called Lilian and he likes to have first names that aren't people we are close to already. Sweet name though! :)

9DPO - nine!!!

I'm nine days past ovulation! After 11pm! Without a period!!! Woohoo!!!

And not only did my temp NOT drop, and not only is my chart still triphasic, but my temp actually went up a bit today! It was my highest one this cycle! I was so excited to see it this morning. I tested using first morning urine. I dipped both a "regular" sensitivity test stick (which I have always used in the past), and my last super-sensitive test stick. Both were negative. I saw shadowy lines which came up within the first 2-3 minutes, but yeah I am feeling "done" with shadowy lines, and no longer sure whether to trust them as anything but a total negative, so... The tests I've been using all this time have been the super-sensitive ones, so I'm giving them up and sticking with the good old less sensitive 25miU tests from now on. I have a couple of those left, and a Clearblue digital, in the bathroom cabinet. The line on the 25miU test is still visible tonight, though it's barely there, and I don't remember seeing ANYTHING on those ones before, so we'll see. I am definitely calling it negative though - it's negative for sure. I felt a BIT discouraged about the possibility of pregnancy with the negative tests at 9DPO (I've had a clear positive at this stage before), but then I remembered Samuel again, and how I had a stark negative at 9DPO. So I just decided to stop thinking about it and wait until tomorrow. I felt like 24 hours was AGES to wait, lol! But the day has gone quite quickly, and now I only have to sleep to find out what will happen next! :)

Other news from today:

I am back to crazy banshee-woman irritable. I have shouted at my kiddies, and feel horrible about the grumpy mummy they've had to put up with today. They have been faaaaaaar from innocent, believe me - really difficult little people today! ;) Hence the banshee-woman. *sigh* But even so, it has to be said that I am ridiculously irritable, definitely on a level with a few days ago. Now I think of it, just like the pattern I've had before in pregnant luteal phases... A few days of crazy hormones (somewhere between 2 and 6 days past ovulation), then a few calmer days, and then another round of crazy. Interesting...

Also discovered at 12.30pm that I was shaking and weak with hunger! Not stomach growling, just like a blood sugar crash. I get those a lot in pregnancy, if I wait too long to eat, or sometimes even when it's not even time to eat yet, when I am doing a lot inside physically re. baby-growing! I had to go and make myself lunch before even making the children's, as fast as I could. I ate cheese sandwiches, and crisps, and shakily spooned a huge bowlful of cream of leek and potato soup into my mouth, and homemade banana cake, and then I wasn't shaky any more, but I still had some room (this is a WAY bigger appetite than my norm!) so I ate a rather large slice of chocolate cheesecake! I am so hooked on creamy indulgent desserts! Not my norm either, and I usually rarely eat them, but right now I am indulging daily. *blush*

A couple of hours after lunch, a new type of fatigue kicked in, which I was saying yesterday I hadn't had yet. Definitely hormonal tiredness. Either because I'm getting a period, or because I am pregnant. No way it's anything else - and I am well-experienced in types of fatigue! This is a specific (and very familiar) kind of exhausted. I managed okay though, but by 5pm I had to lie on the living room floor with little ones climbing on me, and it was so hard to keep my eyes open. I dozed lightly, on and off, and randomly breastfed (!!) while I lay there for about 45 minutes before I could pull myself together and make a cup of tea to give me a boost for making dinner! I haven't had to do that for a long time, even with being really sleep deprived. It's a different kind of tiredness, for me. I quite liked the feeling because of the nostalgia it gave me for my past pregnancies! :) I used to clock up a lot of hours lying clapped out on the living room floor, lol! ;)

I have had some heartburn and reflux AGAIN today - so unusual for me to have this daily now!

I still have that is it/isn't it a sore throat thing, without anything developing from it as yet. It doesn't feel viral anyway, and it's more scratchy/uncomfy than anything else.

I continue to be super thirsty all the time. Being paranoid I started to wonder about sugar crashes, tiredness and extreme thirst... but I'm not weeing frequently yet, and in any case, I have blogged these symptoms several times in previous pregnancies early on (no gestational diabetes), so it's probably just normal pregnancy stuff for me.

I really have no doubt that I am pregnant. I have had some period-like cramps today for the first time, but they have come and gone. This even I had some really sharp stabbing twinge-like pains that flashed on and off. Some were in my left lower abdomen, where I had some pains at 5DPO (implantation), but others were bizarrely in my um... undercarriage (!!!), like having a sudden needle to the nether-regions or even one or two almost felt like cervical pain - though I can't remember clearly enough if the feeling was accurate for that...

The only thing I have doubt about is whether or not I will STAY pregnant. My track record so far isn't great, and either it will go the same way this time, or it won't. So I have to just take each day as it comes. My chart is so pretty and pregnant, and I love looking at it and seeing the nice triphasic rise and the line continuing up up up, right now. But I know that tomorrow the line could drop right down. Or a bit down. Either way, it could all disappear away again, and I could start bleeding by this time tomorrow, and that's the end of that. I totally trust God on it. He is in control, and I'm so thankful I can leave it with him! :)

I forgot to reply to a couple of comments recently - I will post more photos at the main blog, yes! :) I have already had a not-so-nice comment on the first post I've made in ages, unfortunately. I am hormonally charged and defensive, so have written another post tonight in answer. :/ It has really put me off continuing my intention to write posts about the children right now. I will have to think about it. I do intend to update again, but I will see. I don't want to make the blog private, so... But thanks for the nice comments! :)

Also, someone asked about the name Georgia. I did consider it this time, because it used to be my favourite right back at the beginning! :) I still love it, but the middle name for a girl would be Averil (Neil's mum) and some of the other names go better. Also, Neil says he thinks Georgia sounds too much like George with an 'a' on the end, so quite a masculine name (?!), and after all these boys we really want girly girly names if we have another girl! :) Lydia fitted the bill nicely in that sense. Also if we had a Georgia, the last 3 children would be Elijah, Lydia, and Georgia, and they're all "ah" at the end. I like the fact that it's a letter 'G' - without thinking about it, I am doing the opposite of the Duggars, haha! All my children's names start with a different letter of the alphabet, and now that we have this many, I think I would like to continue that if possible! I am still considering names starting with letters we've already used though - so it's not absolutely set in stone that we'll do that.

Okay, I must get to bed. I am having a last-minute moment of doubt over whether my temp will still be up in the morning - maybe I am sub-consciously aware that my hormones are shifting? I think I read into things too much and should just go to sleep! ;) I haven't got as far as 10DPO in years! Lydia was conceived over 2 years ago, and that was the last time! :) If I get my period, it'll be a 9 day luteal phase, and that's improvement, even if it's only by one day - I'll take it! :) If not, I will test, you know I will! :) I will update in the morning if I can, otherwise later in the day. Thanks for hanging in there with me! :)

8DPO - Triphasic!!!

Triphasic, triphasic, my chart's triphaaasic!!! I did a little dance in the bathroom once I was out of the sight of children! ;) I KNOW it could still all disappear, but I can't seem to help myself, I'm just SO EXCITED this cycle! :D

My temp has now been up at the raised (after the evening of bad cramps) level for 3 days in a row, so that makes my chart triphasic, which is really really REALLY pregnant of me. ;) The bad cramps have always been an absolute pregnancy symptom anyway, but last cycle for the first time, I had bad cramps in my luteal phase and I didn't feel that I was pregnant. So my confidence is shaken on that symptom being a dead cert, but even so, it's probably like 98% likely to be a symptom caused by pregnancy than something else, so that's encouraging too! :)

The other great thing about my temp this morning is that it was 36.71, exactly the same temp as yesterday's! They were already pretty flat, but you can't get much more so than that (yet another pregnancy sign for me)! :)

So I wasn't planning to test. I went to the bathroom and hesitated for a while, sort of willing myself to just PEE already and then I would no longer have my FMU to tempt me, lol! But in the end I gave in, and tested. *sigh* I wish I had more willpower! At 8DPO I am unlikely to see anything anyway, and waiting until tomorrow would have been better. I saw a shadowy line, fat and with some hint of colour, which came up within 2-3 minutes (on the test I've got, you have to read it between 5 and 10 minutes, and discard any results that come up after 10 mins). Normally I would get all excited about that. I still see it tonight when I look at the stick. BUT, I have had so many of these shadowy lines, even though I have had some chemical pregnancies where it was just too early to get a clear positive - so maybe they were positives? I could photograph the lines.... But after so many, ending in a period, I have begun to second guess, and wonder if that's just the way negative looks on those tests? It's annoying if so, because it's a LINE! And a line (in the right time-frame, which it always has been) is a line, right? Urgh. Anyway, so I am calling it a negative, and waiting to see what tomorrow's temp is.

Tomorrow I will be NINE days past ovulation!! I've reached that on the last 3 cycles, but my period has arrived that day on all of them. So far, my temp has dropped on the morning of 9DPO (except last cycle where it was already low-ish anyway! Such wacky temps last cycle!), followed by bleeding later. I'm kind of breathless with anticipation over tomorrow morning's temp! Repeat the cycle with a drop in temp? Or the temp stays up, which gives me a) hope of pregnancy (yay!), or b) hopefully a longer luteal phase than last time! :) I soooooooo hope my temp stays up tomorrow! I'm kind of nervous! I will be disappointed if it drops, because I will expect bleeding to follow, and well, that's a shame. :( This morning I woke up when it was already light, with a dry DRY mouth and almost jumped in a panic because I knew it meant I had been mouth-breathing, which would TOTALLY skew my temp, dropping it down as though I was getting a pre-period drop (when it otherwise wouldn't have)! Thankfully, I glanced around me and saw sleeping little people everywhere, so I shut my eyes (and my mouth, lol!) and went back to sleep quick! ;) When they woke me, I was able to temp accurately. I'm anxious that I'll wake mouth-breathing tomorrow, but with AWAKE children around me, so I will have to temp and get up! I say it every time, but I hate this stage with the One (or two, sometimes) Very Important Day to get an accurate temp.

Today has been mostly uneventful, symptom wise. I feel quite neutral, although I have that "something's afoot" feeling deep inside. Funnily enough, it's quite common for me in my pregnancies, to have a very "absolutely nothing is happening! I don't feel pregnant at all!" feeling between 7 and 9 DPO - I remember Lydia's and Nathan's being like this, but I'm sure some of the others were too.

I am mildly crampy on and off again today. Sometimes the crampy feeling is quite sore, but it really only lasts for little bursts (minutes) and then goes off, and comes back again later. It's across the whole of my lower abdomen between my hips (just above my pubic bone) but it doesn't feel like period pain, quite. It does radiate through to my lower back which is giving me backache more than usual at the moment. I have a sensation that I can't describe in words, it's physical but there's no actual sensation description. In the pit of my abdomen I feel like... something is going on. I would say it's like a sensation of a slightly weighted ball in there, but without the feeling of shape definition that a ball has (I told you I couldn't describe it, lol!). Sometimes I feel uncomfortable like I slightly might need to have a BM, but it's not in the right place, it's in front of that - I am guessing it's uterine in nature, and hopefully pregnancy related! :) I have that sensation right now actually.

One thing I usually have by now if I'm pregnant, is some sort of breast symptoms - I think? Maybe it's a bit later with some of my pregnancies... Anyway I have none of that so far. Yesterday or the day before it was sore to nurse, but it's not too bad now. Elijah and Lydia are breastfeeding CRAZY much. Or asking to, even if I say no. Lydia has been a little more whiney and clingy today and yesterday, than she usually is. All my little nurslings have done that when I was newly pregnant, so I'm taking that as a good sign! ;)

I still have a ridiculously sweet tooth and yearnings for high fat, high sugar food! (I say this whilst eating my second slice of chocolate cheesecake of the day! ;) ) I have no nausea, and my appetite is good. I am still more irritable than usual, but it must be better than it was, because the last few days have been much more manageable. I was super irritable from 2-5DPO, exactly the same as one or two of my other pregnancies, and then I had a break for a few days and then another bout of irritability. In other pregnancies I was "insanely irritable" (!!) at different times, but all in the same kind of time frame (eg. 4-6DPO).

Neil phoned me today from work, to see what my temp was! :) I told him my chart was triphasic, and he sounded excited! He said, "So you think it's a boy?" and I said I only had one day of protein craving (which made me think maybe I was pregnant with a boy), but nothing since, so who knows. He said, "I was kind of hoping it might be a girl... for Lydie's sake at least!" ;) It would be nice for her to have a sister, and I would LOVE that for her! But brothers are wonderful, especially baby brothers! :D I have prayed and prayed for another daughter, but I will be overjoyed with a son. I suddenly was concerned about something for the first time though - the boys have now had the experience of a baby girl, and they are absolutely besotted! They frequently (especially the oldest 3) comment that it would be so lovely if we had another baby girly, because Lydie is so lovely, and "TWO baby girlies would be so sweeeeet!" :) I feel the same! I hope so much that if we have a boy, the children won't be disappointed. They've never been anything but thrilled and excited about each of our babies on the way - gender has never been an issue for them. This time, though, if it's a boy, maybe they'll say they wish it was a girl... I think that would make me feel sad to hear, even if I totally understand, because I'll be carrying that little boy that they're wishing away, and will kind of "feel it" for him... Silly, and probably hormonally so, but anyway! It just occurred to me today, that's all.

One of the first things Neil did when he got home (late - he had to stay late tonight to fix a problem, urgh! Poor man worked 11 hours, with a 2 hour drive either side!!) was to stroke my cheeks to see if my skin was "weirdly soft" (something I chart, because it's a sure sign for me). He is my official skin tester! :P Anyway, he said, "Hmmm... not yet, but getting there!" :)

Oh! One other thing that is really pregnant of me, is that I am absolutely out of puff going up the stairs, or trying to talk on the phone and walk about the house at the same time! I know that sounds daft, but even this early in my pregnancies, that's one thing that's common to all of them. I get out of breath really quickly, and I usually notice it first when I find myself out of breath at the top of the stairs. I didn't yesterday (I remember going up at a jog and feeling fine at the top, and thinking, "Hmmm, not breathless then!" before going to do whatever it was I was up there for!), but today I went upstairs for something and was SO EXCITED to be puffing for air at the top! When Neil phoned me today, the kiddies were being noisy around me, so I closed the living room door and walked about in the hallway and kitchen while talking to him. Again, SO EXCITED (and I told him so!) that I was having to pause in things I was saying to catch my breath properly! :D Eeeeee, whatever happens, this is so pregnant of me! I feel properly pregnant right at this time! Whatever happens... I look out of the window and see blossom and flowers and bright green new leaves, and birds, and just NEW LIFE everywhere, and it makes something inside me leap for joy because as well as just observing it, I feel that I am actually participating in it this year! :) Such blessing!

Well, I think I had better go to bed. It's way too late, and I am tired. I am not yet "pregnant tired"... we'll see how things go. I can't wait to find out my temp in the morning, and I will go from there. If it's up, I MAY test, but I am not sure... I have had a very stark white negative test at 9DPO with Samuel's pregnancy, and I was so discouraged that I didn't bother testing at 10DPO, but when my temp was still up at 11DPO I tested and got a positive! :) So even if I am pregnant, and I test tomorrow, I may not get a positive. So maybe I'll wait... Maybe. I have very bad willpower when it comes to these things, so maybe not, lol! ;) If my temp drops that will save me the decision.

I wrote a post at my arthursmummy blog, at LAST!!! It has the family photo that I posted here, and another one from this month that doesn't have Neil in it (he was taking the photo). I love that one because my littles look so precious, and I love seeing their heights since they are standing. :) Love my baby girly looking so grown up and adorable too! Otherwise it's just a pre-cursor to the posts I plan to write, with a bit of an update on our house move and such. If you're interested, that is. :)

I will update tomorrow! Thanks for the comments (and ELLA!!!! SO EXCITED!!!!!! :D )

7DPO - names, just for fun! :)

I know I am getting waaaay ahead of myself (only 7DPO with no guarantee of a positive test ahead!), but Katie asked about names, and so I couldn't help myself looking! ;) Also, I have randomly found myself browsing maternity clothes on eBay, which I haven't done in years. I haven't bought maternity clothes in a long long time, but I just thought I'd have a little look-see! ;)

Here is my current list of names that I like (not yet seen by Neil, and will drastically be shortened once he's seen it, lol!):

Boy:

Charlie
Daniel
Toby
Joshua
Josiah
William



Girl:

Maisie
Isabelle/Isabella
Sophie
Charlotte
Josie
Hannah
Grace (Gracie)
Rosalie
Ivy
Rose

I am sure I will add more names, but these are the first ones I've seen and like. :)

My temp stayed UP this morning, in the "triphasic" range! One more temp that high and I'll have a triphasic chart!! :D I don't know why... I am just SO EXCITED this cycle! Even if it comes to nothing (though I will naturally be disappointed), I am really excited about the possibility of being blessed again! :) Such hope, and joy!

I am mildly crampy, on and off today. Still feeling irritable/PMS-y, and headacheyLast night's dinner left me with a bit of a bitter aftertaste, which both thrills me (only have that when pregnant), and doesn't (reminds me of how yucky things got for seemingly eternal weeks! :/ ). I am nervous about coping with the daily grind with overwhelming nausea for many weeks on end... but I know it will go faster than ever this time (the older I am, the faster the weeks fly by, apparently!), and it'll be soooooooo worth it! :) Eager to temp in the morning, though still too early to test at 8DPO.

6DPO

I haven't got anywhere at all on kiddy updates yet. I have plans to! :) It might take me a while... Here's a family photo taken this month by Nicola's hubby (I met Nicola in bloggyland and now we live really near to her!), to keep you going! :) Ages ago, last time I posted a photo of my children, "anonymous" asked when we were going to cut Matthew's hair already. *sigh* So rude! To pre-empt any such questions: No, not planning to cut it off. Yes, I trim/tidy it now and then. Because he wants it long. Yes, he's very boyish - actually, he is the most "typical boy" of the bunch. Nope, neither he nor I care whether he has long hair or not. My brother's was once longer than mine, in our teens! ;) It's very normal to me. It's HIS hair after all! Neil's family are more "*gasp* Long hair is for girls!" *sigh* But Neil is coping so far. ;)

The children, from left to right, are: Benjamin (5), Arthur (10), Samuel (4), Lydia (17 months), Nathan (7), Matthew (8), Elijah (2). My precious gifts from God! :)

I actually wrote this entry last night, at 5DPO, but I was so tired and had interruptions with Lydia waking and such. So I ended up having to go to bed before I could post anything, and I'm finishing it tonight at 6DPO.

I am now 6 days past ovulation, and really feeling pregnant. I had a weird craving at just 2DPO - obviously the whole world would say that's WAY too early for symptoms, I mean, there's no implantation yet. I know people who have symptoms right from ovulation. I don't think I have ever had symptoms right from ovulation, but I FOR SURE have had symptoms which, for me, are indicative of something going on, from 2/3 days after ovulation, most of the cycles that I've been pregnant. Actually true. And I have had enough experience/conceptions to back it up (including chemical pregnancies, about 20 - though I haven't counted them up as such. Probably more than 20. Which is a bit mind-blowing in itself!). I haven't had those symptoms when not pregnant, after ovulation. I definitely do get "pregnancy" symptoms early so I don't discount anything unusual (or familiar from other pregnancies, including chemical pregnancies) in the first week after ovulating. I write extensive notes (!!) in my private log at my chart, with definite TMI for sharing here! ;) But I am glad that I do because in the past I have been able to copy and paste a few days or a week later, to confirm what I then know. :)

So, at 2DPO (4 days ago) I wrote, simply: "Noticably increased appetite. Flash craving this morning for authentic French restaurant poulet and frites (chicken and chips/fries), like when I was a little girl. Pregnant." ;)

By flash craving (my own term), I mean a sudden, out-of-the-blue, intense sensation of a specific food actually as though it's IN my mouth at that moment. It isn't the same thing as a craving in terms of something I WANT so badly that I must have it. I often don't want it at all, I'm just taken by surprise at the intensity and realistic sensation - that can end up making me crave that food sometimes though, but never at the start. I can taste it completely, or sometimes the flash craving is of a texture as I am biting down on it. Those are 100% undeniably pregnancy symptoms for me. I had that with the texture and taste of a raw mushroom with Matthew at 9DPO (I thought it was earlier, but I checked my blog and it was 9DPO). I know I had it with one of the others, earlier than 9DPO, but I can't remember which pregnancy. I can't find it in my blog for any of my babies, so maybe it was one of my chemical pregnancies - I haven't checked the blog for those yet.

I know it's "too early" at 2DPO, but it's SUCH a pregnant thing, for me.

Not much to report at 3DPO, but at 4DPO I had a huge appetite again, and some hormonal spots on my face. Also have had my "pregnant" CM for a few days now. I was suddenly ridiculously irritable and moody at 4DPO - waaay out of the ordinary sleep-deprived (or even normal hormonal) irritable... I'm less tolerant of noise or trouble (disobeying, lying, talking back especially), and am suddenly flipping out angry, which I really dislike! :/ Having read back all my 2WW blog entries from my other pregnancies, it seems like that's totally normal for me if I'm pregnant! ;) Even though it's not normal for me otherwise. I don't think I had it with Arthur, and one of my other pregnancies. All the rest though, I was commenting on how AWFUL my PMS was, and if I was pregnant, I was worried that I'd continue to be this moody! ;) It didn't last, every time, which is reassuring!

The main thing that made me connect my recent moodiness with pregnancy wasn't my blog, it was Neil. I have been snappy with the children, and on Friday when Neil came home from work, I was so irritable over some tiny minor thing, and he was cheerfully suggesting I calm down, and I shouted at him to "SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO ME!!!!" which I NEVER EVER do (I was inwardly actually quite shocked to hear it come out of my mouth, lol!). There was a pause, and he said, "When can you test?" hahaaa! He knows - the man has experience! ;) :P That was the first moment of realisation that my mood was BAD, and that the BAD mood was very pregnant of me! ;) I apologised, but it was really hard to rein in the snappiness (and I failed a lot) after that, even having been made aware of it. The next day (5DPO) was just as bad! Twice I was grumpy with Neil, and the first time when I went back to apologise, he said, "This is pregnancy - exactly what you've been like before." The second time, he just grinned and said, "You are SO pregnant!" :) He's a good man!

5DPO, when I wrote most of this entry above, I was watching my temps because after that spike the day after I ovulated, I did have a fallback to 36.5ish, and then all the subsequent temps were 36.5-something or just below, so pretty much flat temps. Before I used a fertility thermometer, I didn't get to chart temps with the second decimal place, so flat temps were just the same temp every day in a line. For me, flat temps are most often in my pregnancy charts, not my non-pregnant cycles. Years ago, with my first few babies, I was excited to see flat temps at this stage because I wrote that it was "very pregnant of me"! If I was using a normal thermometer like I used to back then, I would have probably had flat temps - the same temperature each day - for the past 4 days, which is very encouraging! :) You can see on my chart that the temp line is a bit wiggly but otherwise very stable from 2-5DPO. I was going to write last night that I was interested to see my temp in the morning. This morning I had a temp jump! :) Up to 36.75, highest temp yet this cycle!

I was mostly curious about today's temp, because late yesterday afternoon, having had no twinges or implantation type pains, or bad cramping or anything (just the odd mild crampiness here and there), I had a sudden "boring" pain just off-centre to my left, about an inch above my pubic bone. I pressed on it to try and relieve the sensation (didn't work), and remarked to Neil about it, because it was so distinct and distracting. I wondered straight away about implantation, because of how it felt. It went away after a bit, but then during the evening I felt some cramping again, quite bad for me in my luteal phase, but in one spot on one side - same exact place as the sudden boring pain from earlier. For the rest of the evening, I had pain of some sort - most of the time still that "boring" pain, but it radiated through to my lower back (which was really quite painful in general, when I walked about and went on with normal activities), and later even radiated to my front thigh on that side. Definitely charting bad cramps at 5DPO, and I had a lot of backache yesterday too.

I was up so late (eating chocolate eclairs, lol! Haven't had them in YEARS, but told Neil when he went to the supermarket to pick up some things, that I needed some eclairs and chocolate! He's so patient and sweet with me!). Anyway, I wrote on my FF chart notes before I went to bed, that I had been "curled up in a ball on the sofa - proper bad cramps across my lower abdomen, like a period, but a bit sharper... almost feels like maybe something is up with my bladder/bowel but neither of those locations seems right. It's burny, searing, boring, bruisey, all at once. Also, if I touch or lightly press on my pubic bone slightly right of centre, it feels like I am pressing a bruise. Pregnant. :P"

The bruised pubic bone sensation is aaaaabsolutely a pregnancy symptom, nothing else, ever. I feel 100% sure I'm pregnant. I am just hoping to keep this little one. Enjoying the experience of each day though, as it comes. :)

I was excited to see my temp jump this morning because it would seem appropriate for it to jump up if implantation started yesterday. Implantation, for me, is always 4-7DPO somewhere, so this is right on time. I am excited to see  now if my temps stay up at a triphasic level, or drop back down. I love a pretty triphasic chart, and I haven't had one for a few babies, so I would love to see one again! :)

A couple of other things worth noting are the typical pregnant extreme gassiness *blush* :) And I have been aware of the physical sensation of reflux (nice!) every day since 4DPO. No actual heartburn with it, which I rarely get now, unless I'm pregnant, but it's not all that often I feel reflux happening, and it happened late at night at 4DPO and again at 5DPO so it was worth nothing as unusual. Today I had actual heartburn at a very random time of day (mid-morning! Unusual!), and have reflux and heartburn this evening.

So that brings me to today, 6DPO! :) My throat is gritty/scratchy and *almost* a sore throat, but not quite. It has been like that since 3 or 4DPO, and I haven't been anywhere to catch a cold, and nobody has one here. I do have hayfever, so I put it down to that at first. My throat feels so dry and tickly, and I am super thirsty all the time. My eyes are dry and stingy too, and I am drinking more than usual these past few days. I thought nothing of that until I was looking through my previous pregnancies for the moody thing, and saw lots of mention of "is it/isn't it a sore throat" as a symptom - it's common enough to be a search option on the chart gallery at Fertility Friend! I have had it before several pregnancies, as a definite pregnancy symptom, and I forgot that, so maybe the scratchy throat is nothing to do with central heating or the time of year! :)

I am still irritable today, but I have managed myself better with my family, I think! :) I have had mild-to-bad cramping on and off today. Always through to lower back, and at one point through to my left buttock when I was sitting with my knees drawn up - same as last night really. I could even chart bad cramps probably, but I cant' remember the day well enough now to be sure (11pm and I fell asleep putting Lydia to bed, so groggy and tired!). Really tired today. Which is suspicious in itself! ;) Sore when nursing a bit today, for the first time this cycle, especially after breastfeeding for a long time (little two nursing a LOT today - they actually have been for a few days, which is another thing I read a lot of in my blog about previous pregnancies... hmmm!). I have had a bit of a headache today, but that might be sinusy because of a bit of hayfever, I guess.

So, I am going to fall into bed now - so tired! Monday tomorrow, and a new week begins. I feel tired just thinking about it! Hopefully I'll get enough sleep, and not wake up with the covers off and my mouth open, lol! I hate when I wake up to temp and there are factors that skew my temperature accuracy going on! I have 3 days until my period would be "due" - at 9DPO, since that's when my period has started the last 3 cycles, so FF has me due that day. I would so hope that I might get a day more in my luteal phase this cycle though... I would like it to lengthen a bit!

I will update tomorrow hopefully! Depending on being able to stay awake to update! :)

Thank you! :)

Thanks so much for the clarification! It's easy to misinterpret on the internet, and I'm grateful for the gracious responses to my post last night. I will try to get some posts on the kiddies up soon - this is maybe a good motivation for me to get an occasional update in with photos, and then at least I'll have something to look back on for their childhoods! ;)

In other news, after the worst ovulation pain in quite some time yesterday, my temp SHOT up this morning, massive jump to 36.69!! It might fallback tomorrow - sometimes that happens. But I don't need the chart software to tell me in 3 days - absolutely SURE I have ovulated. Parsnips the day before, woohoo! lol! :)

About blogging about my children, or the lack thereof.

It's after midnight and I am absolutely dizzy and queasy with tiredness, and about to head to bed, but I checked my comments on my last entry, and found more wondering about having more news of my other children - one of which referenced not knowing my little three children like the older ones, and then, quote: "And maybe that's the way you like it."!!! That's an odd thing to say! :/

I am so heavy-hearted and sad about not being able to keep up with blogging about family life. It has taken me years to come to terms with it, for my own sanity - I just can't carve out the time, or else something else has to give, and there's nothing left!! I hate, truly hate, that I have little in the way or records of my youngest children. It makes me feel so sad! I can't do it, though. I am determined not to miss recording new pregnancies, because ALL my babies have had that done for them, and I don't want any future children to come to discover that there is nothing about when I was pregnant with them. Plus it keeps me sane to write about pregnancy or whether or not I might be pregnant. It used to keep me sane to write about parenting, but these days I have other outlets to help me (prayer, Facebook, groups online that I'm part of) and I also have changed a lot. I was finding my feet as a parent before, and now... I don't have it all sorted (ohhhh FAR from it!) but I am confident and experienced now, compared with before. I don't "need" to blog like I did before, and it's just as well, because I simply CAN'T find the time!

I wish the world at large could know my littlest treasures like the older ones. They are delightful! I'm sorry. I don't need to be, but I FEEL apologetic. To the people reading my blog who feel they are missing out, to myself (who wishes so much to have the prolific written records of their babyhood, toddlerhood, and childhoods), and to my children, who haven't got that to look back on.
I absolutely do not "like it". I can't think why it would look like I prefer to keep my littlest 3 "unknown"!?

Anyway. While I'm here - no increase in temp yet. Day 11 of EWCM (!!!), but I am sure I have ovulation pain today. We'll see in the morning. Must fall into bed now.

Waiting to ovulate...

Just a quick post to say that I'm on CD20 now, and haven't ovulated yet. I have had EWCM for TEN days straight, lol! Craaaazy! ;) So it seems like I am definitely gearing up to ovulate. Tonight I have some possible ovulation pain, but I'm beginning to doubt my ability to read my body's signals now - I was sure I had ovulation pain at least twice during the past 10 days! Along with the bad cramps in my non-pregnant luteal phase last cycle... I will just wait and see!

I had an anonymous comment last entry that just said, "Let's hear about the children you already have! :) " so I thought I would address that quickly! This is a pregnancy blog, specifically for pregnancy (and new baby) related waffling. I do sometimes write about my other little ones, but I used to write about all other things to do with motherhood and such, at my "main" blog (arthursmummy.blogspot.com). But it has been neglected for a LONG time now. I just don't have time to keep up with it, sadly! :( If I ever update here about my other children, I always have the guilts about it, like I'm cheating on my other blog, haha! ;) I should post a proper blog entry there, and leave a link here when I have done so... I am not sure if I will get around to it though - it's awful to say, because I should keep a record of life better than I do! But I just am swamped and have no time. I might do an update here instead, just quickly, about the kiddies. I am not sure, I will think about it before I write here next time. Thanks for your interest! But PLEASE do use a name, when you comment - anonymous always sets me on edge, because, well, I don't know why. It's just friendlier to identify yourself. :)

I will see what my temp is in the morning. Waiting for it to rise to indicate that I have ovulated, but every day it is still low! Nice and steady at the moment though, my low temps. I'll update again soon! :)