So actually...

Well.

I got emails and messages asking for a password when I make my blog private - thank you. :) I haven't forgotten.

I was going to shut down my blog so that I could talk about hitting menopause in private. And then today...

So, um... It's been 14 hours and I'm not there yet with any coherent words, lol! I guess I will put menopause on the back burner for now. ;) And possibly carry on with my blog open as usual to document the beginnings of another precious little person. I cannot belieeeeve it! I turned 41 last week! I'm super nervous about miscarriage, really tired and slightly crampy, and spotting a little bit of brown since yesterday. I'm 11DPO today. Due November 8th - the day before Arthur becomes a teenager!

I am just... I didn't expect it! I thought maybe I wasn't fertile any more - we have had a good chance of pregnancy for many cycles in a row, though we never try to conceive as such, just don't prevent or abstain. It hasn't sunk in yet. I didn't even think I had any tests in the house! Neil found one stashed in the medicine cupboard from a couple of cycles back. I ordered a few more on Amazon Prime so that I can see if the line is getting darker.

I will be back again with more to say, I'm sure! Just dropping this in before going to bed tonight. :)

Shutting my blog down.

Hi folks!

I am still alive and well, and very sorry not to update all these months. I have plenty to say (I'm not pregnant), but have decided to make my blog private. I didn't want to just do it without saying, so I will leave this post up for a while (not sure how long I should!) to let people know. I am choosing the setting that allows me to give a password to anyone who I trust enough to read my blog, so if you want to continue to read, you can email me and I will consider that. I don't mean to sound unfair about it. I love all my blog readers, and it has been 14 years or something CRAZY that I have been writing here. I would love you all to carry on reading, but I want to be sure who is reading, especially as I plan to write through the end of my fertile years and into menopause, and I am pretty sure I will hit some insecurities and emotionally difficult times, and I want to feel safe here to write about it.

It does mean that if I don't really know you, it's going to be unpredictable as to whether I will trust you enough to give you the password. :/ I am not sure how to get around that one. I hate excluding people, I have always loved being open and honest with my thoughts for the world to see, but I feel less secure now and that's sadly the way it is. I'm locking my arthursmummy blog too, though I never update it anymore.

Please feel free to email me to ask, but please PLEASE don't take offense if I decide that I am not sure about adding you to my list of blog readers. I also have no idea yet if the list has a maximum number that I'm allowed to add. In that case, it would be trusted friends first.

All is well here. I will be 41 next week, and I am neither pregnant nor in the throes of menopause, lol! Lots of changes for me in my 40s. Some have surprised me.

All the kiddies are wonderful and lovely and growing fast. Rosie is one already, walking and mischievous and eager, and as squishy as ever! :) School is going well. Arthur is almost my exact height and wears the same size shoes as me! Lydia is potty training and running the household in her spare time, lol! She's such a character! ;) Neil got a new job which has us in a much more comfortable position financially, though he still works in London so it's a long commute. We are doing well. :)

Thank you for all the comments asking how I'm doing, or just wishing me well. I so appreciate all of the lovely support! xxxx