Definitely my worst morning sickness yet. Not being sick, but have a bowl upstairs and a bowl downstairs, and very nervous about the prospect of needing them. Can not possibly feel more like being sick without actually being sick, and yet it's ALL. THE. TIME. from opening my eyes in the morning to losing consciousness late at night. Have been panicking about it a bit the last couple of mornings, but I have still made it through the day "intact". It's desperate though, getting through the day. Each day feels like several - three or four at least, because every morning I genuinely can't get my head around the fact that I am still only one more day pregnant than I was 3 days ago when I last checked. It actually feels like that! I can't BELIEVE I am only 6 weeks and ONE day pregnant, and it's so discouraging because the last 3 days have been, "I can't do this, I just CAN'T, I'll never make it through the day!" To get through it and have the reassurance that a week has passed would have made it bearable, but it's just the day of turning 6 weeks, the day before it, and the day after. Urrrggghhh...
I absolutely do not know how vomiting mamas ever make it through a day, let alone hundreds of them! :S
On a more positive note (I am still overjoyed to actually be pregnant!), I am having a little bit of fun with announcing my pregnancy at Facebook. I am not sure exactly how yet, but I am enjoying figuring out little clues to drop! If you are friends with me there, please don't comment on them - well, in such a way as to attract attention to them. I'm sure they'll be too obvious to last long, but I'm having fun anyway. Yesterday I posted a funny picture of a mummy dog with 7 little puppies all standing to attention around her. Deborah pointed out (in a private message) that there's an 8th one in there, which made me slightly nervous, lol! Heather still thinks the morning sickness might point to twins, even though it's not as bad as all that. It's worse than my norm, is all.
Today I randomly mentioned something about wanting the boys to be in bed at 7. ;) Everything relates to 7, well, most of them. I know, subtle as a sledgehammer, but like I say, I'm having fun! :) I am wondering about doing 7 days of clues (by which time we plan to have told the boys - I am struggling to hide my symptoms from them, and so far am riding it on the coldy virus I'm recovering from - not letting them know it's nausea I'm dealing with, just the fact that I don't feel well), and then a photographic announcement of some sort (I'm wondering about photos of the boys in some way... I'll post here too, when I have it sorted!) and then a video of the boys' reactions when we tell them. I'm so desperate to avoid the lovely moment of telling them having to be in the form of reassurance because Mummy has just thrown up. :S The sooner we can tell them, the better, but today I had the Health Visitor round for Samuel's 2-year check (went great!) and tomorrow we have a final visit from a social worker so they can write up their report, which apparently WILL confirm that we are great parents to lovely children who they have no concerns over. Phew. Still can't breathe easy yet, and I absolutely do not want them to know about the pregnancy at this stage, so we can't risk one of the children spilling the beans by accident. Today was fine, but I was very nervous about staying well enough through the appointment to not raise suspicion. I am really nervous about that tomorrow as well. We have 4 children to take for vaccinations, 2 hours before the SW visits us. Bleurgh. No idea how I'll get through that. Neil is home in the afternoon for that visit, so he is going to help with the vaccination appointments as well.
Okay, feeling too sick to write any more, and am going to try to eat something to take the edge off it (hopefully) so that I am able to brush my teeth, and then go to bed. Elijah has been very unsettled during the evenings this week so far, and awake and crying in arms until 10 or 11pm. Very tiring. He looks like he might get his 5th tooth soonish, so maybe it's that?
Wednesday, 27 February 2013
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7 comments:
It is clearly a girl ;-) I was so much sicker with Win, and a friend of mine had a girl last year after six boys, so that proves it! :-D
Got a teensy weensy secret to tell and it won't be in my blog for a while.... I'm pregnant too! Thing is I'm having threatened miscarriage (I found out i was pregnant in hospital getting checked for random mid cycle bleeding and pains!) so I'm trying not to think about baby too much until we know more. Not sure on conception dates either as its a v strong, quick positive (I did a clearblue as soon as I got home!) which is not likely to happen with conception this 'cycle' (I'd be 2 weeks 6 days roughly) so I think it happened in the last one... Like I thought!!! I wasn't wrong!! Yay! So just gotta keep fingers crossed its a keeper now. Sorry but had to blurt to someone! Got a dating scan tomorro but bloods look good! Hope you feel better soon x
Hope today went ok. And the two bowls haven't been needed! xx
Oh dear lady, I am reading your blog for the first time. I urge you, as a clinical psychologist to please find a psychologist in your area to talk to. Your obsession with being pregnant is not healthy. Children are a blessing and an inheritance from the Lord - absolutely. But you are clearly seeking to find your worth in being pregnant, and that is not what the Lord desires!! Your writing is what one would expect to see from a long time infertile woman who is finally pregnant, not a woman who is having her 7th baby - and should be celebrating the lives of the sweet babies she already has. Please consider getting some help.
Dear momchick,
For a clinical psychologist, that was not put in a kind or helpful way, which is why I highly doubt your claim to be one. Clinical psychologists (and I know several lovely ones) don't talk like that, either to clients, or to others that they genuinely wish to steer towards help. Also, some of what you said made no sense from a psychological point of view. Sorry, but you haven't fooled me! ;)
I seek to find my worth in Jesus, and that is all. I also seek to absolutely find ALL the joy that God desires me to have (and believe me, He desires me to have PLENTY!) in the blessing of pregnancy, birth, and motherhood. It's a shame that you think a woman can't express the kind of joy that a long time infertile woman, finally pregnant, might express without it being labelled as wrong or unhealthy. There's something really wrong with that mentality! You're pretty much saying that if you're not pregnant after a desperate situation, you aren't allowed to be joyful like someone who has, otherwise something is wrong with you! Seriously, momchick?! Take a moment and think about what you just said! No psychologist is going to say that! ;)
I'm also baffled as to how anyone could possibly suggest or imply that I might not be celebrating the lives of the sweet babies I already have?!?! Again, NOT a clinical psychologist talking, or if it is, one who should be re-evaluating her methods! What a crazy notion! You obviously don't know me very well, which is apparent by the fact that you've just read my blog for the first time! :)
Please don't make sweeping judgements and leave unhelpful, passive-aggressive comments at blogs that you've just read for the first time, without knowing much about anything you're commenting on (in my case, certainly). There's lots of things wrong with doing that, but the main things is - it's not very nice.
I adore being pregnant! It's the most amazing blessing! I am soaking up the joy of it while I can, I know this may even be the last time - only God knows. I adore my precious little children and cherish every moment with each one of them! You'd see that without a doubt if you actually knew anything about me. There is nothing more wonderful that I think the Lord could have chosen to bless me with, and He delights in me doing these things - I know it. I don't need any help, thank you. God is all I need. :)
P.S. My husband is amused by this comment (as I read it out to him just now), and recognises you from previous comments (under a different name, of course), and suggests I check your IP address! Unfortunately, I can't be bothered. :P
I would suggest two things though: 1) It's really encouraging to me when Satan attacks through various sources - keeps me in mind that I'm on God's path.
2) Please take your own advice, and consider getting some help. You seem to have a lot of bitterness, which is never a healthy thing for you (or others on the receiving end).
I am truly sorry you felt my comment was bitter. I honestly have never commented on your blog - feel free to check my ip and you will clearly see that. It is possible, however, that there are others who are concerned for you as well. I read in many of your posts desperation and obsession - some of which may be caused by a true psychological issue. My motive was not bitterness at all, but hoping you would consider getting some help. That is all. God bless.
Thanks for the comment, "momchick". I genuinely don't believe you to be a psychologist, and I'm not even convinced that you're a Christian (though you've signed off, "God bless"), as your original message had the tone of neither.
I get comments from time to time (unsurprisingly, every time I get pregnant) from previously unknown-to-me commenters, telling me I'm doing something wrong by having babies, and not being kind in their "desire to help". I don't fall for it. Satan attacks me when I am doing things that God wants me to do, and these commenters are tools that he uses. They don't have anything nice to say, and they are never in line with the Bible, or what Jesus would do/say. They always come from the same angle as you have (the "oh dear, you poor deluded lady! Something is wrong with you because of your joy in having babies, and you MUST be neglecting your other children because of it!" angle), and I recognise them well by their "fruit".
My above comment already addressed all the issues you re-hashed a little in your second comment. You have sadly mis-interpreted the apparent desperation and obsession that you seem to have read in some of my posts. I will repeat again, I do NOT need any help.
A friend of mine saw your comment last night and was pretty horrified. We discussed it for some time and feel that these type of comments only arise from those who have bitterness or jealousy as their root. I genuinely feel it's a shame, it makes me feel sad that others have that issue, for whatever reason, with some women having many children. It IS universal though - women who have lots of babies get stick for it, in various forms - this being a very common one.
I don't mind a bit whether others are concerned or not! It's completely irrelevant to me, since I seek to please God, and God alone, and I KNOW I am in His will over my womb, and my children.
I would like you to stop commenting at my blog, please. It isn't helpful. Thank you.
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