19 weeks pregnant!

Waaaay too long since my last entry here! Sorry! Thanks for the comments and emails, I really appreciate you guys asking if I'm okay, and sending me well wishes. :)

I need to write a proper update but I am just SO TIRED. My morning sickness eased up at 16 weeks for good, yay! I have had the odd queasy evening since, but nothing in the last two weeks at all, so I am still going to say 16 weeks for when it went away this pregnancy.

We were all ill for AGES with that horrible coldy virus that I was suffering from last time I wrote (at 15 weeks). I am STILL coughing, but very occasionally now, at least. My energy is returning and I'm so thrilled about that! I really can't wait for all the hormones to kick in and get me organised, active and efficient. Pregnancy is my best time of life for these things, and I know it is coming soon! :) Been missing that zap for a couple of years now! ;)

I can't even think straight about summarising the last 4 weeks... I'm trying but I am just tired out. Neil is away today and tomorrow, visiting his mum in hospital. It's only August but I started school with the boys last week (which did not go well!) and this week is much better already. They have had a LONG break from formal lessons, intentionally. We have been unschooling, but I finally couldn't stand them not having instruction in the 3 Rs a moment longer, so we're back at it! ;)

I am not sleeping great at all. Mostly just insomnia like I have had in the past with pregnancies - I just can't get to sleep until 2 or 3am. OR, I am increasingly likely to be exhausted enough to fall asleep nursing Lydia at bedtime, which is GOOD because then I get a super duper early night and catch up on some sleep, right? Well, it works until I wake after about 4 or 5 hours and THEN I can't sleep again for at least 3 hours. I usually doze off after it has got light, an hour-ish before the little ones wake up. I am having some trouble with Restless Leg Syndrome but it's not awful, yet. Some nights my feet have been just burning up and that alone keeps me awake, so I put them up on the wall as vertically as I can, lol! That brings enough relief after maybe 20 minutes, for me to be able to settle and try to sleep again. I'm not even hugely pregnant yet! :S

I am feeling more hormonal and weepy and overwhelmed than I feel is familiar from previous pregnancies, although I have had bouts of such feelings in all my pregnancies from time to time. Neil is depressed at the moment and I am not handling it too well. His issues are long, long-term, and I'm feeling pretty worn down right now. I am crying a lot, which I don't normally do hardly ever. Marriage is a strain when things are like this. I will probably regret even writing this much where people can read it, but I'm tired and just... saying stuff, and so there it is. There ARE better times! :)

My little one is wiggly and active, still with the very tiny little pops and kicks. I can see the movements on my tummy now, and feel them with my hand, but nobody else has had the chance yet. Neil isn't interested, and the kicks are mostly when I relax in the evening after the boys are in bed, so they haven't had the chance to feel them. They are still very light to the touch with a hand, but so lovely! The boys will be so excited! :)

I got a 16 week (almost 17) belly pic, which I haven't uploaded yet, and really really need to take another (I planned to at 18 weeks, but missed it). I can't believe I will be 20 weeks pregnant - halfway there, already!!! - in just 4 days! Tomorrow is Friday, and that is one week exactly until my scan! :) I have such an overwhelmingly strong feeling that this baby is definitely a girl - more than I ever have with any of my other pregnancies, but maybe it's just because I have had a girl now (so I know it's possible, lol!) and perhaps I am letting myself be too influenced by what LOOKED like a girly nub at the last scan... I had a mushy moment this evening when the baby was kicking, laying my hand on my tummy. I was overwhelmed with love in the softest part of my heart, for this baby, and I knew I wanted to just cry with joy imagining if the baby I was laying my hand on was a boy. So, I know I will be happy with a boy, if I'm wrong. :) Maybe I will be... I can almost picture him already, and yesterday I seriously needed protein for lunch for the first time this pregnancy. I wanted egg, beans, cheese, ANYTHING protein-y all on one plate, haha! That's a first, which is unusual for a boy pregnancy, but the protein desire itself is a boy thing for me, so.... The fact that I have spent my first 19 weeks not interested in protein much is DEFINITELY a girl thing for me. Maybe I just needed some extra protein this week for whatever the little one is working on in there? I just can't wait to find out! :)

We have no name ideas yet. Well, *I* do! :) I have a favourite, and a second and third favourite, but Neil isn't sold on any of them yet. He hasn't vetoed them - they are "okay", but he hasn't come up with any himself yet. We didn't name Lydia until we knew she was a girl - we didn't even start looking at names until then. So we have plenty of time!

Okay, I am too tired, so I will stop and go to bed. I will try not to leave it so long!