20 weeks - I had my scan today!

I meant to update again in the last couple of days before my scan appointment, just to catch up on how things are going (after my last post) and final thoughts on boy or girl stuff! I'm sad that I didn't get chance! But oh well.

Here's my little treasure!

 



Of course we had the entire scan before they checked to see what gender the baby was - that's the usual procedure. The scan is mainly about checking for abnormalities, and thankfully, there were none! :) The sonographer said that our baby had "the best heart" she had seen all morning! :) It was probably one of the quickest 20 week scans we've ever had, because the sonographer was very efficient and quick, and also the baby was in the perfect position for measurement every time she went to measure any body part! :) She said straight away, "Baby is head down... Little feet up over the top." Ahhh, my precious love! I felt SO in love, just watching. *sigh*

We're always interested in the measurements because we have various body types amongst our children, and we always wonder which type each new baby will favour. I'm 20w4d today (the scan pictures and my report say 20w3d because they are going by the dates on my last scan - only one day out from my own dates, which is negligible, so I'm sticking to my own - I know they are more accurate since I chart!). The baby's abdomen measured 20w5d, so almost spot on! The little leg bones measured 19w5d, which the lady said was pretty spot on really, but I know better, haha! ;) Anyone who has measured less than 20 weeks in the leggie department has ended up with shorter-than-average legs (like their Mummy, unfortunately! Mine are very stumpy!) - Arthur and Benjamin are the two I'm thinking of! ;) Lydia is their body type but her legs weren't as short and still aren't. They're more in proportion to the rest of her (average measurements). Arthur and Benjamin also had slightly bigger tummy measurements, and heads that were bigger than their dates by about a week. This baby has head measurements all pretty much spot on 20w3d to 20w5d. :) Nothing over 21 weeks like those two boys had.

We saw the little kidneys, the heart beating beautifully with all 4 chambers and valves flapping away. We saw the full stomach and full bladder, two beautiful straight little feet (hooray!) crossed at the ankles, beautiful delicate teensy fingers opening and closing gently, and that gorgeous sight of the string of pearls that is the spine. All the brain looked normal, there was skin over the lower spinal cord, the blood flow through the arteries and veins was normal in and out of the heart, the umbilical cord was attached normally and blood flow through it was great. When it came time to check the little upper lip for a hare lip, the baby had shifted to lying on its side, cheek and part of the mouth all smooshed up against me. :) The cheeks weren't at all chubby yet, of course, but the squish was firm enough that the little mouth was pushed open a bit by it. It looked DIVINE - just gorgeous little lips and that beautiful triangle nose that I've seen so many times before. :) We could see one side of the top lip, but the other wasn't visible, and the baby looked so relaxed and happy there. After a while a little arm came up and a hand rested in front of the face so we could see even less! Then the sonographer wiggled the probe gently on my tummy and said, "Come on, little one! Let us see your mouth..." and almost as if in response, the arm moved down, the little chin was lifted, and the mouth became visible really clearly (no hare lip!). The sonographer said, "Thank you, little one!" and I fell in love that bit more than I already was before. :)

There was a sweet moment in the scan where I saw what looked like the baby putting a little hand to its mouth, which I remembered my heart melting at during scans with my other babies (although not all of them did). The little mouth was opening and closing a little, and I commented on how sweet it was with the little hand to the mouth like that. Then the sonographer told me that actually the baby was sucking its foot, lol! ;) I don't think we've ever seen that at a scan before! ;) She said the baby was sort of bent double at that moment, with the feet up over the face, and a little hand above the head, and the other by its side. Ahhhh, my heart-strings! I love this little one! :)

She moved on to processing the images she'd gathered, and I began to worry that she wasn't going to even suggest checking the gender, because we hadn't mentioned it, and that she'd switch it all off and say goodbye or something, lol! A worrying moment! ;) But thankfully she said, "Are you wanting to know what you're having?" and I said, "We are... yes, please!" So she went straight to the "potty shot" as it's referred to so often! She was zooming in and out, trying to get the right depth for a still shot to clearly look, and all I could see was nothing protruding in particular, but I didn't see any lines or anything like that. She froze the image at last, and so I knew that was IT - the "there it is!" answer to the big question, but even with alllll the gender ultrasounds I'd laid eyes on, I didn't immediately see a clear gender! After a moment I realised that there was nothing - NOTHING - between those legs, and then the sonographer broke the silence by saying, "There are three lines - do you see?" And she pointed to three not-that-clear-but-definitely-there white lines, and said, "It looks like a little girl!" As she shifted the image again, we got a better view of proper girly bits with the labia as well, so that was much more reassuring to see! I knew - ABSOLUTELY KNEW - that it was a girl, but even so I was overwhelmed and stunned and just lost for words, that I have actually managed to conceive a girl, AGAIN!!! :D I felt quite emotional and tearful, even though it wasn't the same as the utterly mind-blowing experience of last time, finding out that we were expecting a girl for the very first time! ;)

It was weird because that was suddenly the end of the scan, and we had to wait for a few minutes in a very busy and close-seated waiting room with bored people looking at us (we must have looked "interesting" as I couldn't stop smiling and my eyes were probably all shiny, and I was clutching the photos above in my hand!). I wanted so much to talk to Neil about it, but I knew my voice would be too loud and squeaky because of The Overwhelmingness and the excitement and joy, and it was really hushed in that waiting room! So we waited, and then the sonographer came out with my notes, and then we went back to the car through busy corridors and in packed lifts. Everything felt way too normal and run-of-the-mill, paying for the parking at the machine, and we were almost at the car when I began to be out of breath keeping up with Neil's swift longer-legged pace, and suddenly said, "I can't keep up! Can you slow down because I've got a - (and then sudden excited squeally voice!) BABY **GIRL**  ON MY BLADDER!!!!" haha! It just erupted, and from that point on I was bubbling over with excitement and constant, "I can't believe it!" and "It's a GIRRRRLLL!!! I'm so happyyyyy!" and so on, all the way home! ;)

I phoned my parents from the car, before we even pulled out of the hospital. They are on their way to England (they live in France) to visit US!!! :) They haven't been to visit us personally in what feels like years - I think the last time was after Lydie was born. *sigh* I wish they would come and see us more often. Anyway, they are only just coming to see our new home, and we've been here a year in about a week's time! They were in the process of driving up France to catch a ferry across the Channel, and I knew I had to tell them the news before the got on the ferry otherwise there would be no signal until they docked (late in the evening). So I phoned them as soon as I possibly could, and they were thrilled to hear they would be having another granddaughter! :) They are staying with friends over the weekend, and coming to us on Monday and Tuesday before going back home. I just can't WAIT to see them! :)

On the way home, I made Neil stop at the shops because I wanted to pick up something that would be a cute way to announce to the boys when we got home. Nicola was babysitting all 7 of them because the hospital here won't allow children of any age in the scan room. She's a star - she brought her three little boys, so she was watching ten children ages ten and under! And everything went well, which was a relief! :) So thankful, because Neil was able to come with me to the scan - the first and only one this pregnancy that he's been able to attend. It was really nice to share that together.

He was very smiley, by the way, after we found out the baby is a girl, but not very verbal! ;) He says he is really pleased that it's a girl - he so wanted Lydie to have a sister, and now she does! :) He is doing better at the moment (bit of an aside to update on last entry), and thus so am I. He hasn't sought help yet, and I don't know if he will, but I'm grateful for the lift in the difficulties at the moment. I find his depression difficult to deal with (in answer to Valerie's question) because coping with a spouse's depressive illness is REALLY hard. There are support groups, I found out! And I read that in many ways it can be harder on the spouse than the depressed person, even. And that statistically, up to 50% of wives of depressed husbands end up suffering from depression of their own whilst trying to cope with their husband's. It's just really hard, even without the demands on me of a large family and pregnancy, and my own tank being completely empty. Anyway. It's easier right at the moment, and we feel "back to normal" in our relationship again. I hesitated to say "for now", but I'd rather just not focus on that, and enjoy the improvement. :) Thanks so much for the prayers and the very supportive comments last entry!

So, we went to the shops and ended up buying a pink teddy with "Baby" and "Girl" written across its feet, and a pink helium filled balloon with "Here come the girls" written on it! ;) When I saw it, I wanted it because I suddenly wanted to take a photo of Lydia holding it, as a way of announcing. Right now she's "the girl", but I loved the idea of "here come THE GIRLS"!!! :) We bought a balloon box so we could hide the things in there for a surprise when we got home, and the headed back. All the way I was just, "Oooooh, it's a GIRL!!!! I can't believe it's a GIRL!!!" to Neil, haha! ;)

We got home and straight away they wanted to know what was in the box. When they were all gathered around (Nicola's boys too), I opened the box and let them lift the plastic bag off the surface, and up floated the balloon. They all went nuts grabbing for it (forgot to think about the fact that the balloon itself might be a bit of an overwhelming over-stimulation for some of them, whoops!) and in the huge load of noise and movement I can't remember who started yelling, "It's a GIRL!" or something along those lines, but I think it was either Arthur or Matthew. :) ALL six of the boys have been longing for the baby to be another girl, and I was getting a bit worried that if it did turn out to be a boy, they'd end up disappointed! But they are just beside themselves with joy over the news! :D

I handed the teddy to the nearest calm child (only Benjamin fitted that category, lol! He's generally calm, shy, and steady by nature, so wasn't leaping for the balloon and making noise). Benjamin was standing by my side, so I gave it to him, and before I could even explain that it said "baby girl" on its feet, he was whispering to me earnestly, "Rosie is a nice name... we could call her Rosie..." I LOVE that because Rose and Rosalie are on our short list, and the boys don't know the names we're considering. :) I have no idea where that came from, but he has said the same thing to me much earlier in my pregnancy, and I remember telling him that yes, it was a nice name, but that it might not even be a girl, so we'd have to wait and see! He still remembered it, and it was the first thing he wanted to communicate to me after we announced the news! Weirdly (I'm SURE he hasn't talked to his brothers about it), when I went to tuck Nathan and Arthur in at bedtime, Nathan suddenly said, "What would you have called the baby if it was a boy?" On the way to the scan, Neil had said to me, "You'd better prepare yourself... in case it's a boy..." I knew that he didn't expect me to be disappointed, but he could see how very much I was SURE it was a girl, and thus had my hopes quite high for a second daughter, so he was trying to protect me. In that moment I told him about how I had quite fallen in love with the image of this baby as a fluffy-haired little baby boy, and that I loved the name Charlie for him, and he instantly said yes, that would be a great name for the baby is it was a boy. So it would definitely have been Charlie, if it was a boy. :)

So, I told Nathan that the baby would have been called Charlie, and straight away he said, "That name does NOT fit with our family rhyme." ;) I said, "What family rhyme?!" and Arthur piped up from his top bunk, "You know, the family rhyme - 'Ar-thur, Matth-ew, Na-than, Benja-min, Sam-uel, Elijah, Lydia..." and Nathan finished for him, "... Charlie. It doesn't go with our family rhyme." His tone was so serious and final, it just amused me somewhat to listen to them talk about it! ;) And I LOVE that they call the list of their names "The Family Rhyme", bless their hearts! So sweet! We have enough children that when you say all their names together it sounds like a verse of sorts! :D

Arthur said that he felt that Charlie belonged in the stories of books he reads, but that Solomon goes very well with our family rhyme! I think that was the name he was hoping we might choose, actually, given that he's dropped hints with it before! ;)

THEN, Nathan, having been all quiet and thoughtful while Arthur was talking to me, suddenly said, "Rosie goes well with our family rhyme..." and Arthur gasped and said, "Oh YES! Or Rose!" and then, "Is that one of the names you might choose from?" and I had to tell him that yes, it was - that and Rosalie, which is just a more girly-sounding version of Rose. Arthur hugged himself with glee and said how pretty Rosalie was, and how it was "like a combination of Rose, Rosie, and.... Lee?!" ;)

Soooo, watch this space! Neil and I both feel more attached to the names Rose and Rosalie now that we know that three of our children have out-of-the-blue suggested or really loved the names (or variants). I don't recall that any of the children have suggested any other names, even! And they are already names on our very short shortlist! But we're not 100% sold on ANY of the names yet, and I don't know how long it will take us to choose the "right" one. I have looked at literally 600 girls names, and only these ones have currently made my shortlist (the middle name will be Averil (even though it means "boar battle", lol!!) after Neil's mum) - I've put the meanings by them. Meanings are important to me, but not many of them have "strong" meanings to me... my least favourite is probably Sophie, and so far my favourite has been Charlotte, but Neil's favourite is Sophie, and his least favourite is Charlotte, lol! He also just said, "Grace... no, she'll be naughty..." and vetoed it on that basis, haha! ;) This is my own shortlist, but honestly I have looked at All The Names - lots of them very lovely, but I've narrowed it down to these which I like enough to use on my own daughter. Probably. ;)


* Charlotte Averil  (feminine of Charles - "free man")
* Hannah Averil  (grace)
* Ivy Averil   (plant name - ivy)
* Isabelle Averil  (devoted (or pledged) to God - I like this!)
* Grace Averil  (grace)
* Maisie Averil  (form of Margaret, meaning "pearl")
* Rose Averil  (flower name - rose)
* Rosalie Averil  (variant of "rose")
* Sophie Averil  (wisdom)

Wow, it is suddenly really late! I will post the three photos I chose of the many I took of Lydia, to announce our new daughter on Facebook (cruelly, 45 minutes AFTER I posted "Back from my scan! :) Beautiful healthy baby, measuring spot on for dates. I will post a pic in a bit! For anyone who was waiting to know the "big news" - it's another..." Ahh-ha-ha-haaa! :D I know that was SO mean of me! Hee hee! Something Neil and I thought of as we got home! ;) ).