I missed my 34 week belly picture in the end, but Neil took one tonight for 36 weeks, so it's in the gallery. It is coming up too big at the moment for some reason, even though I've since resized it at Photobucket, but hopefully that'll fix itself soon. I can't really see much change in the last FOUR photos in the belly gallery, it's so odd! I seem about as big each time, and things don't really look much different to me. I'm sure I had more obvious changes in my bump every time I had a belly picture in my other pregnancies?! What do you think? I know that every time my bump is measured by the midwife, it is bigger, so it's definitely GETTING bigger, and I can assure you of that myself anyway! ;) But it's strange to me how the photos don't seem to be showing that...
Anyway! So, only ONE WEEK to go till I reach full-term, and four weeks today until my due date. It's June 10th today (happy birthday Meg!) and he's due on July 8th, so less than a month to go now! :) Matthew was born almost exactly 3 years ago (his birthday is in 4 days on the 14th!) and so I have been reading loads of entries here from around that time, when I was waiting for him to arrive. He was due on the 7th, and it was soooooooooo hot and humid, urgh. I hope not to have a repeat of that this time around (the heat/humidity OR the 41 weeks!)!
I wanted to update yesterday but I was just too tired and had to go to bed. I seem to have been so BUSY lately. I had a weird diarrhoea thing over the weekend, and I wanted to note that here too, but again I just didn't get chance in the end. I did mention it at my arthursmummy blog though. People kept saying it sounded like a pre-labour "clear out" thing, but that hasn't ever been my experience and I was only 35 weeks, so I didn't really think that was the case. It turned out not to be (I think!). I have NO idea what was up, but I had stomach cramps and diarrhoea for FIVE days straight, and couldn't really eat much in that time. I had a lot of nausea the first 24 hours, but after that just the cramps and diarrhoea. It was hard to get enough fluids and food so I was worried (drinking water sent me running to the loo the first couple of days), but amazingly my uterus was very calm the whole time. I was definitely pretty dehydrated a lot of that time, though I was able to keep drinking and nibbling on bland stuff (salty and sugary especially, to be sure to keep my electrolytes balanced), and yet I had no contractions really. I had the usual Braxton Hicks contractions, but really those were on the quiet side too - nowhere near as bad as when I have had a lot of very uncomfortable ones rather frequently due to not having enough to drink that day! So that was reassuring, and I'm so glad of it. Benjamin was extremely active over the whole time, and he seems to have turned posterior because ALL his limbs are directly facing my tummy, so that when he moves my tummy morphs vigorously into all manner of shapes and forms! ;) It's quite alarming at times, seriously. I feel like he's going to break right through when he's doing really strong stuff, and Neil can't really look at my tummy "doing that" for long. Even the midwives were surprised at the crazy shapes going on with my tummy at my appointment yesterday! His feet and knees and so on can push out several inches (I told you it was alarming!) with a good shove, and this happens so fast and just ALL OVER my bump in quick succession when he's really active so it looks very bizarre! ;)
Anyway. I was basically in bed for 4 of the 5 days - I just felt really exhausted and achy and wiped out from all the cramping and loo-dashes day after day. Neil had to take Friday, Monday AND Tuesday off work to watch the boys because I just wasn't up to it. If I got up, I had to sit down and then pretty soon, sitting down was too much work so I had to lie down. If I tried to get myself anything then I was breathing hard and feeling shaky. So I was not able to look after the little ones on my own. I can't imagine what I'd have done if he wasn't able to be at home! He had to work from home on his laptop which was hard for him because he's under a lot of stress at work (tons and tons on his plate) and he had 3 small boys being rather difficult around him all that time. Thankfully (in a way!) his work connection kept failing and so he was able to just have blocks of time where he could put work to the back of his mind and do normal things with the boys, without it being his fault and his boss was therefore okay with that.
On Tuesday he was home from work again, though I was actually better that day, in that I had no more diarrhoea. I was tired and crampy (stomach, not uterus!) still and had not got my strength back up, and I had my big 36-week midwife appointment in the afternoon, complete with GBS test, etc, that Neil had planned to be here for to take the boys out. Otherwise I don't know how I could have done the GBS test or the long-and-drawn-out "birth discussion" that it entailed, with the boys darting all around me and talking incessantly! So he took the day at home, but worked properly while I did more of a normal day looking after the little ones. He did make the dinner though :)
Since last time I updated, I seem to have done a lot of thought-processing and so on, due to a lot of email contact with my lovely doula. It's stuff I WISH I had been updating about as I went along, but I haven't had chance/energy. So I will try to catch up now (though it's late and I shouldn't be TOO long-winded!).
Heather, my doula, has been so informative and helpful re. the GBS issue. She has also been contacting other doulas and midwives who are friends with a lot of knowledge and experience about it, and sending me emails with their thoughts on the matter. Soooo helpful! :) I basically read the whole of the UK GBS Support website that they recommended, which completely INFORMED me about everything I needed to know! Excellent place to go for GBS-related info in case you are ever needing somewhere like that! Heather suggested that we pray about whether or not to have a test, and also just to pray that I would not be carrying GBS this time in any case. She also recommended the garlic-up-the-hoohah thing (not her words, lol!) which honestly? I am so repulsed by, even though it's super natural and healthy and effective a lot of the time. I just can't bring myself to do it, even with the possible benefits! Yeurgh! I am NOT a garlic fan even taken at the usual end! ;)
Anyway, I had requested an NHS test at my 36 week appointment, but then read on the website that NHS tests are basically just high vaginal swabs that are notoriously completely inaccurate! What's the point of that?!?! Positive results are fairly accurate (84% or something), but a negative result is only FIFTY PERCENT accurate!!! That's 50% completely INaccurate!!! So, I can't trust a negative result for a second. I decided to get a private test done. You can't really do that easily in the UK (the more effective tests, that is), but you can order them by post, do them yourself (they're double swabs - vaginal/rectal) or ask your midwife to do it if she will, and then post it to the lab and pay for the processing of it (the actual test is sent to you free). The cost is £32 and I decided to take that option. I ordered one on Sunday but it hasn't arrived yet (annoying since it's supposedly 1st class post and should have been here for my appt on Tuesday therefore, but it wasn't, and it still hasn't arrived today either). I thought I would also get the NHS test done, just out of interest to see if the results were different (and thus an interesting test to prove the NHS tests inaccurate myself, possibly!), since they were planning to do it anyway and it was free - I might as well!
Heather came round a little while before the midwife was due to arrive, which was nice. She played with the boys and was soooo good with them! They really took to her, and Arthur seems a bit put out that she is going to be spending her time with MUMMY when baby Benjamin is born, and not him! ;) I tell him that it's so that Mummy has someone to help her while she is having Benjamin, so that Daddy can look after the boys if needed. He says things like, "Well, Daddy could be with you while Heather plays with us!" hehe! Neil took the boys out just as the midwife and her student arrived. I haven't met either of them yet, but this midwife, Becky, was about the loveliest midwife I think I have met yet! Heather was equally impressed. She was so supportive, eager for me to have a homebirth, and yet very informed and careful for the sake of Benjamin and me, about the various factors and options involved. She has four girls (older than my littles by quite a way) and had homebirths for all four! It was a really long appointment, maybe over an hour, because we just talked at length about all sorts of things. Heather had written on my behalf to the supervisor of midwives (I love my doula!!) during the week about my desires re. having a homebirth and Group B Strep. She enquired about intramuscular antibiotics at home (KNOWING that it has been done because one of her midwife friends in Cambridgeshire has given IM antibiotics to GBS ladies at home before), and also IV antibiotics. So Becky came equipped with the answers to those questions. I did not have to do a thing! I so totally love having a well-informed doula who is passionate for what I'm passionate for, on my behalf!
So Becky said they absolutely do NOT do IV antibiotics at home because of the risk of anaphylactic shock. And IM antibiotics was against policy and not done. She said that it would basically be a case of, if I test positive, I have to decide whether to have the antibiotics or not. If I do, I need to go into hospital to have my baby and get the antibiotics there. If I want to have a homebirth, I need to decline the antibiotics, against medical advice. But she said she would support me in that if I chose to do it. A lot depends on the various risk factors at the time. The whole decision would make me nervous and I'm still not sure what I'll do if I test positive. I'm just praying and praying that I DON'T!! That would be such a big relief. If I go into labour or my waters break before 37 weeks, I would not hesitate to go straight to hospital and get my IV antibiotics, that much I am sure about. There's increased risk before 37 weeks (like last time).
Anyway. She asked if I wanted her to go ahead with the GBS test or not, and I was suddenly not sure if I wanted to. I asked if it involved a speculum and told her I did not feel much like a speculum today! ;) I have been so sore lately there. So she said she would just do a low swab instead if I wanted, which was better. We went upstairs to do that, and when she went to do it, she found (TMI but relevant to my pregnancy records!) a fluid-filled cyst pretty much in the way! Yikes! It was very sore and she said she was not surprised in the least that I was feeling so sore. She was surprised that I hadn't noticed it myself. I felt a bit alarmed by the idea, and have felt so squeamish about it for some reason, since then. She told me it was small and not to worry about it, but that she'd recommend I see my GP and get her to pop it (WHAT?!?! Yikes!!!). She said she could have done it herself, but she felt at 36 weeks I should get it checked first and be sure it wouldn't be an infection risk so close to labour. When she was telling the student about it downstairs afterwards, she held up her hands to show the student how big it was, and that's when I realised it is NOT a small cyst!!! I said, "That's MASSIVE! You said small!" ;) Ewweewwwewww. I don't like it! I just can't bear the thought of something like that in such a.... vulnerable place at this stage of things, not being dealt with RIGHT THIS SECOND and being made to disappear! Yeurgh.
She eventually phoned the antenatal clinic and arranged for me to go to see the consultant on Friday (day after tomorrow) to have it looked at. She told me to beg them to pop it, haha! If I need stitches after the birth and it's still there, she will have to pop it anyway, apparently. It's in the way. Yucko. She said it's normal and not an infection or anything, but yeah. Yucko. I can't believe I write this stuff for the world to read! *blush* But it's relevant for my own personal records, and I just don't keep any of those, other than here at my pregnancy diary!
I also "have" to talk to said consultant about my homebirth/GBS thing at the appointment, as per "policy". I am so not looking forward to that. Heather can't come with me as she's running an antenatal class that morning. She told me to just be a broken record and say I was not ready to make a decision or that I didn't want to discuss it right now, and not be pushed over. She said she thought this particular consultant might be pretty heavy-going about it (in a negative way, that is) and want to have me listed as "not suitable for homebirth", so she said I must be non-committal and not discuss it if I wanted to avoid being worn down! :S Doesn't sound like much fun, the whole appointment really! I'm not looking forward to it.
My GBS test results will take a week or so to come back apparently. I received the other stuff I ordered from the place where I ordered the private GBS test (seperate orders) - some raspberry leaf tea (first time I've tried doing that!) and some perineal massage oil (again, first time! But can't use it till the cyst is fixed, urrrgh!), but still no GBS test.... I hope it comes soon, because I want to get it done and sent so that I can hurry up and get some accurate results. I especially don't want to be waiting ages for them after I receive the NHS results.
So, what else about my appointment yesterday?!
My bumpy-bump measures spot on 36 weeks, so that's good! My blood pressure was the usual healthy low reading. My urine had a bit of protein in it, but hey ho. That often happens whether I'm pregnant or not, and was likely contamination rather than anything worrisome. Benjamin was shoving around in there so hard that the poor student couldn't feel his position! Every time she gently laid her hands on my tummy to start feeling what was inside it, he would do all sorts of martial arts type moves and literally buck her hands off his backside, haha! She kept having to lift her hands off, and wait for him to settle, then put them back on to try again! ;) Everyone was laughing and commenting on it during that time, which was fun. The midwife was much more assertive about feeling his position and his bucking and wriggling didn't put her off! ;) She asked if I had been having back pain, and I said yes because I have had some low backache for a while recently, but nothing too bad. She said with all his limbs forward, he seems to be posterior at the moment (his back to my back - not good for labour and birth!), though she could feel the edge of his back. He is still head-down, and FINALLY they were able to write something other than "free" for his head in my notes! She could not feel the tip of his head (it's into my pelvis) so she put him as "4/5 palpable" - finally a touch lower than all the previous weeks!
I have been having some bad grinding/searing pains in my hips and groin when Benjamin is active and turning his head about and things. I asked why that would be if his head wasn't even in my pelvis yet! I was worried that it would become AWFUL once he did get to be engaged! She said he's heading down so that might be where the pain is coming from. Hmmm, I'm not sure if that accounts for it all. It's not pubic bone type of pain (which I'm AMAZED hasn't really been present this pregnancy, having had it the other times!), it's just stabby and grindy and searing at times with pressure, so I guess soft-tissue pain. Which I can't figure out if he's not anywhere near my cervix yet!
Today I have some very different discomfort and pain, which has surprised me really. Neil went back to work and I've managed fine with the boys, eating normally and only having the occasional stomach cramp (without diarrhoea again, phew!). My energy is returning to normal (sluggish, therefore, haha!), and I did a bit of housework today and the meals, etc. I did also lie down whenever I could on the sofa or on the floor with the boys. I'm trying to lie on my left side and sit upright wherever possible, as per Heather's suggestions on turning Benjamin back to anterior again, but it's soooo hard because those positions are so uncomfortable! I just want to flop back and RECLINE alllll the time now. Anything else is uncomfy (or even painful sometimes), and yet the reclining position is the one position to AVOID in this situation! Crawling or kneeling forward is also ideal, but oh so tiring and uncomfy! I crawled around for a fair bit today tidying the living room floor of a billion toys and books and socks and things like that - not because of Benjamin's position but because that's what I DO, as a Mummy to small boys, haha! And it really hurt to crawl. The small of my back hurts really quite badly today. I don't know if that's to do with Benjamin going lower and being posterior, or what.
Also, this morning I was in the kitchen doing something or other (not strenous) and suddenly became distracted by discomfort. I put my hand where it hurt, and that's when I realised it was PERIOD PAIN, low down in front. There's no other description for it really. Period pain. For sure. And I haven't felt that in maaany months, so it really caught my attention when I realised I was feeling it. My lower back ached in the same kind of way at the same time, and it hung around for a little while. After a while I noticed it had eased off, but it has returned quite a few times today since. Sometimes it has been there for 20 minutes or more, just feeling really crampy/achy and periody - NOT contractions or tightenings in any way, just an ongoing crampiness. I wondered at first if I was confusing it with my poor afflicted/irritated bowel (!), but it definitely wasn't that.
Since then, my lower back has felt sooooo sore this evening and late afternoon. The difference over the afternoon has been really noticeable. I can't get up from anywhere without pain in my back, and when I walk - well, I usually waddle now, as it's more comfortable. The wide type with feet either pointing ahead or slightly out-turned! But since this backache has settled in today, I noticed that I am automatically waddling differently. Much more tenderly and smaller steps, and my knees and feet want to point in towards each other as I walk, just to give the back of my hips a wider berth I suppose. It's ever so uncomfortable. I can walk normally but it hurts more. It's also really sore to lie down in any position (I noticed this last night actually) and turn over at all. My hips and the joints in the back of my pelvis hurt so much when I do that (again, NOT my pubic bone at all! Which is so NEW to me!).
I have no idea when Benjamin will come. Heather asked me what my gut feel was for when he might come, and whether I have felt God saying anything along those lines also. I haven't really answered her question. I can't shake the thought about that time a few weeks ago when Neil and I were praying and I felt pretty clearly as though God was saying to me that this baby is coming sooner than we think. But I tried to dismiss it because I really did not feel confident that I had truly heard from God on that one - more like my own mind churning that one out. I haven't had confirmation of that and so only time will tell. It does not hurt to take it as a possibility though! So I have been very busy getting things checked off my "baby preparation" list since then! I have done so much on that (still SO much left to do though) that it's too hard to list it all here tonight when it's so late and I'm tired out. I will try to get that done next entry, because I do like to keep a record of these things in my pregnancy diary! :)
This week Neil has been saying that he has a fair bit to do at work to prepare his team for his paternity leave. He has a lot to prepare to get to the point of being ready to even start to hand-over to them. For some reason a couple of nights ago, I felt constantly distracted by that, and eventually couldn't rest until I told Neil I felt he needed to make sure that stuff was all done THIS WEEK. I didn't even know why. Maybe it's just me wanting to be ready. But when he asked, the honest answer was that I didn't know if he would have next week to do it. I can't really believe the baby is coming around 37 weeks - it doesn't seem likely for little old me! But there it is. I couldn't explain it, and probably I'll still go to 41 weeks or something exasperating like that, hehe! But I felt compelled to say that he needed to have everything ready this week.
I haven't started packing my hospital/birth bag yet, but at least we've got it down, and it's DUSTY so the first thing I need to do it give it a good shake/bang outside before packing anything into it! We've dismantled a triple wardrobe in the main bedroom (last weekend, the one before the tummy troubles) to make room for a double chest of drawers, which I ordered and subsequently assembled myself for 8 hours straight on the Sunday! The Return of Crazy DIY Pregnant Lady (as Meg would have me known! ;) )!! She always makes her appearance around the end of my pregnancies! Swiftly followed by Crazy Baking Pregnant Lady - with Matthew I feel sure she was actually the REASON he was delayed until 41 weeks! I HAD to bake 3 specific things (banana cake, ginger snap cookies, and chocolate muffins, I think!) and just couldn't get time or energy. It was absolutely all-consuming, and after I finally did bake them, Matthew was born, haha! So, I'm waiting for her at some point! ;)
Oh there's so much other stuff I've been doing to get things ready.. I want to write about it but there's no more time! Except that I keep not getting round to telling you guys what I won at eBay a few weeks ago! Sorry! I just forgot, and didn't actually intend to be all secretive about it! I just ran out of time when I was originally writing about it, and then didn't have chance after that.
Here's what I bought!
Never mind the messy background (which has ALL GONE now, by the way - another sudden crazy nesty-type thing for both myself AND Neil! We were up till 2am two nights ago shifting the living room furniture into all sorts of different arrangements, packing away ALL the children's toys but a few, and dismantling the toy unit (a bit of a sad moment for me, as that was my Crazy DIY Pregnant Lady project a couple of weeks before Matthew was born, exactly 3 years ago!) to put into the loft - the boys have lately been TRASHING the room on a daily basis, emptying everything off that toy unit and being really hard work to get to tidy it up again. That day I literally spent the hours of 8.30am (when they trashed the place) till TWO PM getting them to tidy up. Ugh. I finally had enough, and decided the toys were going. They're in tubs in the storage cupboard in my bedroom, accessible for when the boys want something to play with, but totally under my control as to how much comes out and when. Yay!
Anyway, the picture is of an Amby Baby Hammock which I just happened upon when I was googling crib lengths and stuff like that, trying to figure out whether to use the Moses basket in my room, get the swinging crib down from the loft (which we've never used) for maaaybe a longer use than the Moses basket (which is why I was googling), or buy a new cot for Benjamin, since Nathan is still using his. I just happened to find a mums' forum where they were discussing the duration of use for Moses baskets and swinging cribs, and someone there mentioned the Amby. I followed the link, read the entire website, and had not the slightest doubt in my mind that an Amby hammock was literally the ONLY choice for us! I wish we'd had it from the start (which is apparently what EVERYONE says!). Ohhhh the possibilities for better nights!.... I hope it's really true, though I do LOVE night-time breastfeeding.
Anyway, I looked on eBay, and sure enough there were some for sale there. I found one that was in our local area and in excellent condition, and I bid on it. It had so many extras - it had been used for 2 babies for about 7 months each time, but with all the spares and extras the total value was over £250! I won it for £100 and drove to pick it up to save on the cost of a courier, so I am WELL pleased!! :)
The lady I bought it from was lovely. She couldn't believe my oldest was 4 and I was nearly due with my fourth baby! ;) Her little girl is 3 and her baby boy is 7 months and just moved out of the Amby a few weeks ago. She says they are not having any more children so it's time to let the Amby go, though she's loathed to part with it because of its sentimental value to her. I told her I would look after it well! My heart really went out to her, because I could so empathise with that feeling.
She bought a new mattress and mattress cover for her second baby, and kept the first one as a spare. So I did the same - I bought a new mattress and cover (which arrived today actually!) from the Amby website, and I'll keep the two others as spares - it's a good idea I think. We're sure to need the spares, as I tend to have babies who bring up tons of milk very frequently, and we often change their bedding/clothes 3 or more times in one evening when they're tiny! :) The lady asked if I wanted a demo - she was so nice and helpful! I said yes, and she put the frame together in about 30 seconds, and hung the hammock from it. She took the hammock bit apart to show me all the parts of it, and how to wash it, etc. She said she had just washed it ready to sell, but that I would probably want to wash it again anyway before using it. I'll do that when I wash the baby clothes (when we get them down from the loft - got to do that soon!!).
When I got home with it, I wanted to show it to Neil right away, so I put it up. There are instructions with it, but because of this lady's willingness to give me a demonstration, I was able to just put it together on the spot in about a minute or less! It's sooo easy. And it will take up less space than a cot, and can be used for a baby up to 12 months old. If you still want to use it beyond that age, you can buy a heavy duty spring to attach the hammock to, and that will take a much heavier baby. The testimonials are EXCELLENT, absolutely universally, for this baby bed. I'm really excited to use it, and I'm so happy to have found one and saved a lot of money. Now Nathey can keep his cot as long as he needs to, and we'll have plenty of time before we want to transfer Benjamin to the cot - definitely long enough for Nathan to move into the toddler bed - even a year from now! Also I'm intrigued about the motion aspect of it and the alleged wonderful effects it has on babies being settled, losing their colic (even bad cases) and sleeping through the night quite early on. It all makes sense, reading about the design though. The lady I bought it from said she used it from day one with both her babies, and her cousin had a baby two weeks after her own baby boy. Her cousin's baby was very unsettled and woke very frequently through the night (this at 9 weeks old - seemed awfully early for me to be expecting much else, but anyhoo!), and when she saw that this lady was having success with the Amby, she bought one herself. And literally, from Night One the baby was settled and sleeping long stretches, and never looked back. That's exactly what everyone else is saying, and our experience is that our babies don't do that! So I'm curious to see what happens! She looked absolutely AGHAST when I told her I had just recently got my night-sleep back at 16 months postpartum, haha! ;)
Okay it is SOOOO late, and I must get to bed! I'm glad to have caught up somewhat, although it still feels like there's a ton I have to say still! I must try to update more frequently from now, as things are changing so fast and it all gets kind of newsy from here on out, even if the "news" is a little on the dull side for my readers, being all about lists and tiny details and so on! ;) I need/want to make sure I update about the various purchases I've made in preparation for the baby, and also the to-do list, which has been worked on since I last wrote. I like keeping track of things like that here, even if it's dull for everyone else!
I'll be back in a couple of days. I really don't want to leave it a week even - there's too much to write about, and I want to start noting any physical changes as they happen from 36 weeks really. Also my appointment with the consultant on Friday... maybe I'll have chance to write about it on Friday evening? My next midwife appointment is the 18th (Thursday), but it won't be Becky. I SO want Becky to be the midwife who attends me during labour and for the birth!! She is doing mainly nights so she said she hopes I have the baby at night! She loves a good homebirth and would love to be the midwife who comes out to me! Heather told her we'll be praying that it'll be her! ;) Seriously though, I will be!
Okay, definitely going to bed. Aaaargh, but wouldn't you know! Darn internet has cut out! I'm still writing this in my Blogger box but if I try to post it, it will do that annoying "you are not connected to the internet" message - tsk!! Virgin is NOT impressing me so far. I can't wait up to see if it comes back because it's too late, but if it somehow works then I'll post it tonight, and copy and paste it to my Diaryland pregnancy diary as usual.
And be back soon! :)
